Ranking the evil opponents

Losing is never a good thing, but it's worse to lose to some teams than others.

I've given this a lot of thought over the last few weeks. This is my list of shame.

8. Bangladesh - it's great to see them win, even at our expense.

7. Pakistan - they've had a rough twelve months or so. The sympathy vote.

6. West Indies - it's a close call but I put the Windies here. They're ok.

5. New Zealand - they are worthy adversaries but beating New Zealand is like punching your special little brother. And although their hatred for us is the equivalent to our hatred for England, we just pity them in response (because we're too busy directing any potential reciprocal feelings towards the poms, you see). So I feel sorry for them really.

4. Sri Lanka - a threat in the ODI arena.

3. India - although it is getting close to a tie with South Africa for second place, way back I've got a bit of Indian heritage, so I suppose there is a small allegiance. But let me emphasise, it's miniscule. Their recent antics have put them higher on the list of shame.

2. South Africa - they're so SMUG. And they say we choke. What is that about?

1. England - of course. All heritage is out the window when it comes to the poms. In fact it probably makes it even more unbearable to lose to them.

While India, South Africa, England and Bangladesh are firm in their respective spots, the others are open to change... depending of course, on their level of threat.