Sunday, February 10, 2008

Doin' my bit for the Cap'n

Dear Ishant Sharma,

While I begrudgingly offer my congratulations to you and your teammates for your victory tonight, a pattern has a emerged that I would like to discuss with you.

You have a wondrous knack for being the Achilles heel of Ricky Ponting, and as I find this difficult to cope with, I would like to make you a lucrative offer.

It just so happens that my extraordinary best friend Ruth, for reasons unbeknown to me, fancies the pants off you.

I propose a trade. This fine specimen of a female in exchange for your leniency towards our captain.

She's at uni at the moment, but transferring to Indraprastha Vishwavidyalaya University shouldn't be a problem.

On the odd occasion that we find ourselves at the nets at the local park, she proves to be skillful with a bat, and so you could even practice bowling at her.

Also, her hair is currently the colour of Leeloo's from the Fifth Element, so you will not lose her in busy Delhi streets.

I daresay she will even commit treason and support your team, and this sort of pledge from an Australian is indicative of supreme dedication.

In exchange, you must promise to go easy on our Ricky. At least hold off until he makes a century before inflicting your wrath.

See, our Punter is a bit fragile of late. He's been a bit shell shocked since his hair miraculously started growing back, and I fear he is concerned it shall not stop growing until it resembles yours. It is this distraction that throws him off guard every time.

I have a theory that the captain of the winning side should consistently be awarded man of the match, however at this stage we're even struggling a bit with the winning part.

There are no losers in this deal, especially not yourself. If you accept my offer, please contact me and we can arrange a drop off point.

Your discretion in this sensitive matter is deeply appreciated.

Yours sincerely,

Miss Field for Cricket Australia


The Atheist said...

I remember Leeloo. She was great.

"Plase...hewlp me"

If you get her in the baggy green, you wouldn't need to worry about pimping off your friends. Victory in kick-ass fashion would be guaranteed.

Golandaaz said...

You probably will have to up your offer. This one is easy to refuse. The variety waiting for his disposal once he gets back to India will be worth the wat. He can have Ponting in Australia and as Yuvraj and the rest will guide him have his cake when he gets back

Uncle J rod said...

What sort of protection will ruth have during the love making. Is Albion going to make an adams apple protector for her to place on sharma.

Other wise she could do herself a mischief.

Miss Field said...

Ohh I think she's pretty willing to risk that mischief... she really is prepared to take one for the team!

Straight Point said...

poor ponting...look what they are dong for you...if this goes for couple of week more...we will see him asking ppls how to hold a bat...

dArA said...

ahahahhah....I hope,Ishant willn't need THIS 'down' frm his deadly action...rather he'll motivate to do MORE of SUCH torturues to Mr. Punter!
Hey,just jokin'! ;-)

st.point wrote:
if this goes for couple of week more...we will see him asking ppls how to hold a bat...'s really going to be such level!! lolzz
But,I do believe that evenif Harbhajan got Ponting many times,it's Ishant who REALLY scared him,b4 got his wkt!And,a full 4-test series awating in coming Nov.Hope to see MORE such actions....:-)

Miss Field said...

Yeah, Dara, I wouldn't be too surprised. But torturing our captain is not cool!

Hopefully I might get to Calcutta to see the test match in October.

©hinaman said...

No deal, Miss Field.

With no disrespect to your friend, we have some beautiful ladies of our own in India who will do the honours for the sake of Team India. :)

Are you really off to the Eden Gardens in October? Who knows, I maybe another in the crowd.

Miss Field said...

Oh really, are you from Calcutta?

I'd like to go back there sometime, even better if I could go when there's cricket on. Problem is airfares are just so expensive from here.

Besides, I'll have to visit my friend.

dArA said...

Hoping for a exciting but peaceful series in Oct!Atlst,I really wished 'that' Sydney incidents will not repeat again!! :-/

Btwn,still venues r to be fixed,allthough in Kolkata a Indo-Ausie Test wud b best!!! :o)

And you are very much welcome here!! :)

©hinaman said...

I am, Calcutta born and bred, now feel hopelessly lost living in the West. My heart is still there, and I return once every year. Maybe someday in future will return permanently.

I used to sneak out of Uni to go and sit in an empty Eden Gardens to watch the domestic matches. many fond memories.

Seems you have been there, was it for cricket or just travel.

Miss Field said...

I actually have family there. I visited in 04 and I'd like to go back, it's incredible. I think second time around I'd be able to get more out of it, as I know what to expect.

Didn't get to any cricket but I think that would be an experience in itself.

What prompted your move?

©hinaman said...

Madness. Or bad Karma. Not entirely. :)
I can now observe the two very different worlds; see the good and bad in both. That's an unique opportunity.

Curious to know about your Calcutta experience.
If you can, try the Eden Gardens for the Australian visit. A full Eden is an experience by itself.

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