"Listen up lads, I can't think of any good reason why we should bother trying to win, so let's have a competition to see how quickly we can get the crowd asleep. I'm betting three hours. The winner gets a go in the pedalo, the runner up gets to give young Ian a chinese burn on his right arm."
I'm watching the overs tick over, and consistently seeing no run... no run... no run... no run... no run... no run.
I mean, go the NZ bowlers for keeping the run rate down, but they'll be aiming for wickets, and it's not happening, not because they can't do it, but because Vaughan and Cook aren't even bothering to hit the ball!
Oh well. I think I'll be celebrating my 30th before they get to 100, but still, live in hope they'll get bowled out.
EDIT: About frigging time! Haha and Matthew Hoggard, the night watchman, has gone too. Good one.
"Picture yourself on the Waikato River, a new pedalo, all around blue skies. Or chinese burning, you'll twist that arm slowly. Watch the tears stream from Bell's eyes..."
Taking a leaf from Ricky Ponting's John Lennon book, Virgil Vaughan serenades the lads.
Photo: Getty Images