Friday, March 14, 2008

The empire strikes back...

...is the best film in the Star Wars series, but Return of the Jedi is my favourite.

So. Day 2. I read that if England lose this match Michael Vaughan will be sacked. Oh my goodness. I'm not ready for this. I think the Black Caps, sensitive to my feelings, decided to do their bit and be all out for some lame-o score. Did they choose to finish with 198 or did it just happen? We will never know.

England are, well, er, uh, they're... going ok. But the thing is, I really think it had more to do with New Zealand being crap. They, England, batted for five overs today, and let's take a peek at what they got up to.

Over 1 - 3 runs
Over 2 - 1 run
Over 3 - maiden
Over 4 - maiden
Over 5 - maiden

Were the first four runs too much too soon? Three runs in one effort is a lot to ask for. But the numbers are deceiving, because only half of those runs were made by actually running. Two of them were no-balls!

I can just imagine Vaughan and Cook meeting in the middle of the crease, doing that nauseating fist-punch thing and Vaughan saying "Well doon, we're doin well-good ey, with these four runs mah career is seved." In fact, I wonder if, as a child, he traded his family's only asset for some magic beans. I wouldn't be surprised.

Anyway. Is this it now? Virgil Vaughan and Ally McCook have sunk exponentially into the world of nothingness. Zero. No runs. Cricinfo had this to say on the matter:
Recent overs
. . . . . . | . . . . . . | . . . . . .
I get they didn't want to lose a batsman so close to stumps, but four runs in five overs is silly.

Prior to this, Paul Collingwood did something constructive with himself and bowled 3/23. Well done lad! Was this a fluke or does he actually have potential? Only time will tell. Jimmy Anderon's 5/73 also a fine effort.

Back to New Zealand. Well, not much to say here. Danny Vettori made 50 and no one else did. Oh except Ross Taylor, who made 53. Back to Daniel, I think he's great. I may have mentioned this before, but he is. Seven 4s and one 6.

He leads from the front, in fact he carried his bat, and he's prepared to carry his team when they need him to. Except when he runs out of batting partners, but that's when he carries his bat, and looks good for it. So shit, can he do any wrong?

Virgil Vaughan's captaincy and New Zealand's pride hang in the balance, and both are up for grabs. Exciting stuff. Is anyone prepared to stick their neck out and call this game? England again seem to be chasing a draw, and New Zealand, being that great bunch of people they are, will want to win. So I think I'm going to go with New Zealand, but I'll know before lunch tomorrow whether I am committed. Roll on Day 3!

Speaking of Michael Vaughan, here he is just after deciding he's better off not only playing with his eyes closed, but using his bum is a better option than his bat. It's beautiful. It's art.
"Do the Hustle!"

9 comments:

The Atheist said...

That shot is straight out of the bottom draw.

If the Kiwis win the Queen will get angry. Really angry. You wouldn't like it when she gets angry.

Suave said...

Since when did Vaughany talk with a scottish accent?

"Well doon, we're doin well-good ey, with these four runs mah career is seved."

Miss Field said...

Look, I was in a hurry and to be honest, I can't remember what he sounds like.

It looks English to me. Or maybe Welsh I suppose.

The Atheist said...

Does the ganing up of Missy continue on her own site?

For shame, Suave, for shame.

The Atheist said...

A bugger, I forgot a crucial "g" there. I meant "ganging up"....

Miss Field said...

You can gan me up any day, Atheist.

The Atheist said...

Um...I'll assume that "gan" is Australian slang for "bring me a nice cup of tea and biscuit."

Miss Field said...

Indeed, but more specifically an Arnotts biscuit.

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