Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Hairy Maclary is back, but most certainly not sexy back

I just got an email from the ACF and I was excited because I assumed it was the Australian Cricket Family emailing me to let me know that I've won a trip to the West Indies to watch my boys play. Not that I've entered such a competition, because as far as I know there isn't one, but still. It could have been. But it wasn't. It was the Australian Conservation Foundation. Sigh. Next time.

It is hilarious that there exists this picture of a man whose name is Hair.
The same man has been re-instated because he's one rehabilitated umpire. So, no more accusing poor Pakistan of unspeakable things, let's hope.

I think it's crap that certain umpires don't get appointed to certain countries as a rule because of excessive complaints by a particular countries, or they're seen as biased. If an umpire is unfit to umpire the games of one country, he should not be an umpire.

And this is the man who tried to offered his resignation for US$500,000, even though he was in the wrong and he damn well knew it.

Personally I think Darrell Hair is a clown. And to me, in this world of celebrity substance abuse rehabilitation, to say he is rehabilitated implies that he went to a kind of hospital where there was no cricket, he wasn't allowed out at night and his family could only visit at certain times of the day.

For the duration of his stay, he had to reflect on his life and think about the consequences of his actions and decisions. For the privilege of being at this rehab place, the ICC paid roughly $3,000 a day, which for the six-month period we've not seen or heard from him, added up to $546,000. So maybe they should have just paid him out and sent him on his merry way.

Alternatively this rehabilitation process could have occurred in prison, but that's not for the hip, jazzy, super cool, neat, keen, and groovy cats that cricket umpires are. It's in the fridge, daddy-o. Are you hip to the jive? Can you dig what I'm layin' down? I knew that you could. Slide me some skin, soul brother.

In other news, a former dentist charged with stealing body parts and illegally harvesting organs, including Alistair Cooke's, has pleaded guilty in a New York court. Yesterday this man (sort of) confessed to being a doctor. I think I'm onto something here.


Ottayan said...

If an umpire is unfit to umpire the games of one country, he should not be an umpire. - Well said. With you on this 100%

The Atheist said...

I would pay see Hair as a clown.

Serious money.

Jrod said...

I would pay to see the atheist watch hair as a clown.

miriam said...

i would pay to see Jrod watch the atheist watch hair as a clown.

Miss Field said...

You're all clowns.

'Cept you, Ottayan - cheers.

The Atheist said...

You see, there is clearly a demand.

Yet any Hairy Clowns for me?

No. Not a sausage.

*sad smiley*

Andruid said...

Apparently umpiring in the Intercontinental Cup is the cricket equivalent of going into rehab in some posh secluded resort.

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