Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Pure NZ, 100%, oh yeah

Thank God for test cricket. The first test between Newzalund and Ingerland started today, and the Enzedders are batting, and are off to a pretty good start. Carn the Kiwis!

Er, Stephen Fleming is playing. I thought he quit a few weeks ago. Maybe he was announcing a tour of duty... maybe I'm just way off. But jeez, I thought the reason for this horrid photo was because he was upset he was leaving, and I felt sorry for him. Now it's just a horrid photo.

I'd really like to be at home watching this on TV and not following cricinfo updates. Especially considering there's an ad on cricinfo telling me to ski Mt Hutt but not offering me the means of doing so. It's a cruel world. Employers should learn that providing TVs and Foxtel for their staff would enhance productivity. Who wouldn't be inspired by Danny Vettori's slow left-arm orthodox in the workplace?

I was really hoping I'd get to the Wellington test match next week. Months of planning came to nothing, and there's only a few days left for any potential benefactors to come forward. So if you're looking for something to spend that spare $1500 cash that happens to be lying on your dresser on, vote 1 Miss Field. Actually it wasn't the money issue, it was the lack of company issue. But cash donations are still welcome!

Anyway, Ian Bell wants his mum. The little girl hurt his wrist this morning, and has gone off to radiology to have it scanned. They told him his mum would meet him there.
"I want my mum."

Maybe he saw the cricinfo ad as well, and is skiving off to Mt Hutt. Bastard. I bet he doesn't have to appeal to strangers to pay for his holidays. In fact, his mum probably still pays for his skiing trips.

In other news, Australian captain Ricky Ponting is believed to be considering a career as a John Lennon impersonator after he was overheard singing the chorus to the Beatles hit The Ballad of John and Yoko in the Aussie dressing room after last night's disappointing loss to India, which ended his disappointing summer. Very disa-Ponting.


Anonymous said...

Once again, NZ puts on what promises to be an enthralling contest. If Daniel Vettori is the "nerd", then Ian Bell is the "wimp"- toughen up son, it's test cricket! He looks like the sort of bloke that would have received wedgies at school on a daily basis.

Thanks for covering this test match,MF. I'm going for NZ too, the nerd (Vettori) will probably roll England in the 4th innings.


Suave said...

Mr Fleming announced that he would not be touring The England, and would be retiring after this test series.
That's why he was crying.

a little unfair on Master Bell, I think...
I don't know about you, but the last time I was hit by a cricket ball at 85mph, from two feet, I cried for a week.

But you know, that The England are going to win this test.

And soon, my dear, you'll be wearing a man size I Heart Greame Smith t-shirt.

Miss Field said...

The nerds will inherit the earth, billybob, they might have already.

Hey I'm not suggesting it wouldn't have caned... just looked like he wanted his mum. Has he tubbed up a bit, young Ronald?

Suave said...


He's bulking up, so that he can maybe hit a six one day.

He keeps get caught on the boundary when hitting out, so he's trying to get a bit bigger, so the ball goes further..

Miss Field said...

Oh is that what he calls it. He looks like Strawberry Shortcake has been on prednisolone for a bit too long.

The Atheist said...

I think that Flemmers just retired from the captaincy. He's still fantastic though.

And, I understand, a major cricket pin-up.

Leg Break said...

Fleming got axed from the test captaincy 6 months ago after giving up the ODI captaincy after the World Cup. This was done in a fit of pique by that egotistical fool Braces.

This current series is his swansong; his last test is the Napier one.

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