I'm a bit stuck on Facebook at the moment.
And as I'm bored I thought I would search for interesting groups about Graeme Smith.
There are 36 Facebook groups (all seem to originate from South Africa) that involve Graeme Smith in their title.
Six are fan groups.
What a popular guy!
Let's have a look at some of these groups, and see where the hatred lies, and more importantly, is the same person running each of the six fan pages, and is that person Graeme?
Let's start with the fans: A group for people who r tired of people who always criticise Graeme Smith - created by Jeaniene Kotze - 63 members. The opening spiel is 'interesting': He can score a 1000 runs in a match, yet they refuse to acknowledge it! I think maybe I am missing something here? And judging by the use of letters instead of words in this group's name, (and because its creator is prominent in the anti-sites, rigorously defending 'her' hero) I'd say maybe this is Graeme's work. Actually she, Jeaniene/Graeme, has written on the walls of each of the anti-Graeme pages, scolding them. She's a funny girl.
We LoVe Graeme Smith - 2 members, which says it all I think.
Graeme Smith should be shot - 93 members - features Graeme's personal 'tour diary', stolen from him during the last World Cup.
Following closely Someone shoot Graeme Smith - are in their own words, a group dedicated to people who love the sport of cricket and, as such, have no time or respect for Graeme Smith, a man who talks in cliches, leads by bad example and has no lips! - 2 members.
Blame it on Graeme - 31 members - Have a problem...blame it on Graeme! Who ever said Graeme Smith can play cricket....wrong answer!
Graeme Smith is the biggest fucking dickhead this country has ever seen - 1 member, but I predict great things.
He may be good at Cricket but Graeme Smith is still a COCK!!! - 22 members. Interestingly, this group has put itself in the Dating/Relationships category.
Graeme Smith is a nob-jockey - 19 members - Yes we all love our beautiful country and always support our country's sporting endeavours, but why is our cricket captain such a monumental wop?
GRAEME SMITH WE DONT LOVE YOU - indeed - 9 members.
Graeme Smith must be burned at the stake! - 47 members - they refer to him as Gayham Smurf. This group is dedicated to the abuse of a useless captain, a youngin who just didn't have what it takes! Graeme Smith, you are a WANKER!!
They also 'found this letter':
"Dear Dr. Ruth, I am a crack dealer in KEMPTON PARK, GAUTENG who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.
My parents live in Hillbrow and one of my sisters, who live in Benoni, is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Brakpan.
I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Leeukop Central Prison for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct.
I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Yeoville. She is now a part time "working girl ". All things considered,my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin Graeme Smith, the SA Cricket Captain?
Worried About My Reputation"
The last one is my personal favourite - Graeme Smith knows as much about cricket as I do about chemical engineering - 7 members, which is a bit disappointing for such an awesomely-named Facebook group. So I joined and thus increased their membership by 14 per cent.
Well, he's done it again! Graeme Smith has proven without a doubt that he knows how to read a cricket pitch about as well as George Bush reads a kindergarten story book, upside down!
There is also one group whose name suggests its purpose is debate about whether Smith or Michael Vaughan is a better captain, but I'm filing that one under Jokes.
Now as there don't seem to be many South Africans who roll with the bloggers, it's difficult to perceive the South African perspective, I'm going to stick my neck out and say... South Africans don't like Graeme Smith.
Which begs the question - does anyone?
- ► 2009 (51)
- Oh dear, Graeme
- And then he conquered Facebook
- Daniel Vettori, Discworld overlord?
- New Zealand: letting the world down
- We're going to the Island!
- See how they run
- Oh baby!
- "Forget the Oz Open, get the VB open"
- Ricky Ponting's ultimate new accessory
- Why you should give me all your money
- Ricky Ponting does something
- True lies
- Blue... VB... headwear... nooo...
- Tipping yes for humiliation
- Kia Ora bro
- And then she rose out of the ashes...
- This is not a pipe
- Thoughts from the trenches
- I took my love down to Violet Hill.
- ▼ May (19)