Thursday, May 29, 2008

Oh dear, Graeme

I'm a bit stuck on Facebook at the moment.

And as I'm bored I thought I would search for interesting groups about Graeme Smith.

There are 36 Facebook groups (all seem to originate from South Africa) that involve Graeme Smith in their title.

Six are fan groups.

What a popular guy!

Let's have a look at some of these groups, and see where the hatred lies, and more importantly, is the same person running each of the six fan pages, and is that person Graeme?

Let's start with the fans: A group for people who r tired of people who always criticise Graeme Smith - created by Jeaniene Kotze - 63 members. The opening spiel is 'interesting': He can score a 1000 runs in a match, yet they refuse to acknowledge it! I think maybe I am missing something here? And judging by the use of letters instead of words in this group's name, (and because its creator is prominent in the anti-sites, rigorously defending 'her' hero) I'd say maybe this is Graeme's work. Actually she, Jeaniene/Graeme, has written on the walls of each of the anti-Graeme pages, scolding them. She's a funny girl.

We LoVe Graeme Smith -
2 members, which says it all I think.

Graeme Smith should be shot - 93 members - features Graeme's personal 'tour diary', stolen from him during the last World Cup.

Following closely Someone shoot Graeme Smith - are in their own words, a group dedicated to people who love the sport of cricket and, as such, have no time or respect for Graeme Smith, a man who talks in cliches, leads by bad example and has no lips! - 2 members.

Blame it on Graeme - 31 members - Have a problem...blame it on Graeme! Who ever said Graeme Smith can play cricket....wrong answer!

Graeme Smith is the biggest fucking dickhead this country has ever seen - 1 member, but I predict great things.

He may be good at Cricket but Graeme Smith is still a COCK!!! - 22 members. Interestingly, this group has put itself in the Dating/Relationships category.

Graeme Smith is a nob-jockey - 19 members - Yes we all love our beautiful country and always support our country's sporting endeavours, but why is our cricket captain such a monumental wop?

GRAEME SMITH WE DONT LOVE YOU - indeed - 9 members.

Graeme Smith must be burned at the stake! - 47 members - they refer to him as Gayham Smurf. This group is dedicated to the abuse of a useless captain, a youngin who just didn't have what it takes! Graeme Smith, you are a WANKER!!

They also 'found this letter':
"Dear Dr. Ruth, I am a crack dealer in KEMPTON PARK, GAUTENG who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus.

My parents live in Hillbrow and one of my sisters, who live in Benoni, is married to a transvestite.
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Brakpan.

I have two brothers; one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence at Leeukop Central Prison for the
murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Yeoville. She is now a part time "working girl ".
All things considered,my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin Graeme Smith, the SA Cricket Captain?


Worried About My Reputation"

The last one is my personal favourite - Graeme Smith knows as much about cricket as I do about chemical engineering - 7 members, which is a bit disappointing for such an awesomely-named Facebook group. So I joined and thus increased their membership by 14 per cent.

Well, he's done it again! Graeme Smith has proven without a doubt that he knows how to read a cricket pitch about as well as George Bush reads a kindergarten story book, upside down!

There is also one group whose name suggests its purpose is debate about whether Smith or Michael Vaughan is a better captain, but I'm filing that one under Jokes.

Now as there don't seem to be many South Africans who roll with the bloggers, it's difficult to perceive the South African perspective, I'm going to stick my neck out and say... South Africans don't like Graeme Smith.

Which begs the question - does anyone?


Jrod said...

This is my fav post of yours ever...

Miss Field said...

Excellent. Thank you sir.

Q said...

I say u do a Jacques Kallis one next..

Q said...

Or I say u make it a regular feature - pick a cricketer every week and see what facebookers thing abt him.

Miriam said...

This is indeed a super post, Miss Field. And yes, I am with Q on this, a regular feature please!

Suave said...

Superduper work dahling!

Keep it up!

Ottayan said...

An absolute gem.

Sanath said...

Pls link my blog onto your blog as i've regarding yours..CRICKETAHEAD

Leg Break said...

You can always tell when a post is a good one…

Sanath pops up asking for a link.

I’d never noticed the no-lips thing before, but it’s dead right. Is that an inbreeding thing?

Miss Field said...

Thanks y'all, I think I will heed your words of wisdom, and I think I know who I'll do next... hmm.

Yo Sanath, this blog is actually managed by the chap who calls himself Leg Break, so you'll need to contact him via to arrange links. Cheers!

Leg Break said...

Lol, very clever Miss Field.

Rob said...

Excellent post Miss Field. For me it is his arrogance that gets my hackles up. I remember one match where England beat SA after some heroics (probably from Freddy) and Smith never even mentioned England in his interview. Git.

suave said...

Nice, you got a nice mention on Patrick Kidd's Timesonline blog..

go you!

Som said...

Your tirade against him notwithstanding, I heard Graeme Smith is one of the Nobel Peace Prize nominees this year with the Hatchet Burying Society putting forward his name, along with that of Shane Warne.

Leg Break said...

I’ve always thought the Sun’s sister newspaper was a bit of a pompous rag.

But well done Miss Field. Contrasted with CMJ too…

Anonymous said...

Very funny article,
I agree with q, Jacques Kallis next please, i can't stand him!!
To leg break, the no lips is a bit hard to miss! my mum says the same thing about Simon Cowell, perhaps Graeme and Simon are related, but then again I actually quite like Simon Cowell, so maybe not.

PS: once again i can't log into my account, can someone help please?

12th Man said...

Blogrolled you Missy.
And i enjoyed this post thoroughly.
Keep them coming.

SixSixEight said...

Oh yes, yes, yes! More of this please!

Miss Field said...

Thanks everyone, welcome to any new people.

Rob - I remember being annoyed by Andrew Flintoff's lack of acknowledging his opposition, and that was in his losing speech. All of them.

Wicket Maiden, I'm not sure how to fix your problem, but it's ok, we know who you are :)

I will shelve my plans and Jacques Kallis will be next, by demand.

Rob said...

"Rob - I remember being annoyed by Andrew Flintoff's lack of acknowledging his opposition, and that was in his losing speech. All of them."

Excellent - he probably said "to be honest" quite a lot though.

Miss Field said...

Oh, is that what he was mumbling?

Sanath said...

Dude I've linked your blog onto my can check it out if u intend in doing..I want u also to do the same..CRICKETAHEAD

Jarpie Saffer said...

'effeminate' Graeme Smith ! Apparently he/she won an Aussie beauty pagent - The 2008 Miss Fallopian Tube held in Yarloop, WA. The Aussie Miss Graeme Smith used 4 inches of her Aussie 'pleasure gear' to lob/catapult a cricketball 83 metres into a crowd of equally 'effeminate' Aussie 'sheila' contenders ! It's true... Graeme Smith is a regular AUSSIE sheila !

Anonymous said...

U people are losers and must feel like complete idiots after what Graeme has done in England & Aus

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