Saturday, June 7, 2008

Jacques... a bit more popular than Graeme

So last week you liked my in-depth analysis of Graeme Smith's presence on Facebook. Thanks.

I was so pleased with this that I didn't write again for a week.

But here and now I shall look at just what Facebook thinks of Jacques Kallis, by request. Unfortunately however, Facebook Jacques is not nearly as interesting as Facebook Graeme.
Let's see...

There are nine Facebook groups about Jacques Kallis (a couple of IPL groups as well, but they don't count).

Sadly, seven are fan groups. This means that the number of people who love Jacques Kallis enough to set up a fanpage outweight the number who hate him enough to set up a loathing page. Shame, the loathesome ones are always more fun to read.

The first search result is Jacques Kallis is Awesome. The Jack Bauer of Cricket. The group boasts 181 members and its author has written this in the Group Info section: "basically jacques makes me wet, being a heterosexual man i don't make statements such as this without carefully considering the implications, but along with keifer sutherland, jacques is one of the two men i would consider letting bum me."

Interesting. I'm sure Jacques will be thrilled at this generous offer.

The author did shoot himself in the foot a bit when, after writing a detailed overview of Jacques' career, concluded with "Andrew Flintoff Who?" Andrew Flintoff, then.

Jacques Kallis supports Club - 154 members - but the pressing matter of just which club he supports is not addressed.

Jacques Kallis is an absolute legend!!!! - 107 members - with four exclamation marks, you got that? Not interesting whatsoever, only got a mention because of the large number of members.

F*ck the quota system, bring back Jacques Kallis - 68 members - "This group is to show support for Jacques Kallis and all other South African sports men and women who have been left out of teams because of STUPID quota systems" Mmm, poignant.

Of course there's a S.A has produced some of the best cricket players ever group - 189 members - because it would be a world gone topsy-turvy if there wasn't a group that epitomises South African arrogance.

Now for the good ones...
Michael Hussey, what a hero!! Stuff Jacques Kallis - 5 members - hooray for the Huss!
The fact that it only has five members means nothing. Nothing! And the fact that the creator left the group means nothing either, got it?

jacques kallis is a prick! - 5 members - Interestingly this group categorises itself as Common Interest - Gardening. Its Recent News section consists of "kallis is a prick!". Although true, the creator should consider investing in a Thesaurus, because there are a lot of words appropriate for Mr Kallis, no need to use any more than once.

That's it for Jacques, no gold mine was uncovered unfortunately, and nothing about his esteemed personal life, but I believe in Facebook, I believe there's some extreme loathing for certain players out there, and I will find it.


CurryCricketer said...

Obviously all the people in the "fans groups" are Test Cricket fans too ... I doubt we'll be seeing a "Jacques Kallis is the best T20 player in the world" group on the FB anytime soon (ever).

Miss Field said...

But I like people who like Test cricket.

I don't want to like anyone who likes JK enough to set up a fan page.


SixSixEight said...

People who like Jacques Kallis are merely misguided, as are those whole like Smithybabes. They will be sent for reprogramming soon….

Jrod said...

It's not wrong for a man to wanna sleep with another man, but it is wrong for any species to wanna fornicate with jacques.

SixSixEight said...

re Smithybabes did you see this?

Q said...

Jack Bauer is a HERO!! I can't believe how anyone who follows 24 with intent can go through a Kallis innings? One if fast paced action / drama while the other is anything but that...

when was Kallis ever dropped cos of quotas?

12th Man said...

Missy, most fan clubs are just created for the sake of it.
There is very little discussion of worth happening in each one of them.
Pardon these fellas.
Tell me something, whom do you hate the most - Smith or Kallis?

Miss Field said...

sixsixeight, I did see that, I was pretty pleased!

12th Man, for me, I actually don't really dislike either. In fact Graeme is... not so bad. In fact the only real cricketer I really despise is Harbhajan Singh.

Not sure Q, that might involve real research.

Jrod, any such offspring would also be infertile. Hopefully.

Leg Break said...

Has Stuart Broad got her own fan club yet?

Miss Field said...

I'm too scared to look.

Anonymous said...

Wicket Maiden:
As I was one of those who requested Jaques Kallis, I'm really dissapointed, and quite frankly surprised, I really thought more people coulden't stand him!

Miss Field said...

Aww you still can't sign in. Is it like looking through the window?

Silly Blogspot. Not to worry though, wicket maiden, I have a cracker lined up for this week.

Wicket Maiden said...

Look!!! I don't know how i managed it, but I've signed in!! I don't remember how I did it though... Oh no... Maybe I'll close the window and see if I can do it again, but what if I can't!! I'll be Anonymous forever! Noooooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Wicket Maiden said...

I dit it! I closed the window and tried again and it worked!