I've been sent back until my task is done.
And if you've emailed me or requested anything in the last few weeks, I know there have been a couple, link swaps and all, please re-request. I didn't mean to forget but I did.
September was a shit month for cricket. But who'd have thought it would take an email from New Zealand Cricket to get me motivated. Especially one that looks like this.
I mean please, who's going to take that seriously? Nonetheless, BLACKCAPS.com is back too. Contain that excitement, at once! I bet Dan Vettori was thrilled that they used that photo. In fact, with such exciting CAPITALISATION, you'd think they'd have an EXCLAMATION MARK. Oh, wait...
In an in-depth analysis of this new look with a friend from across the ditch, it was suggested that maybe New Zealand Cricket are trying to make him seem a little bit, well, tougher.
I'm not convinced. I think he looks more like he won $200 on Deal or No Deal than got Ricky Ponting out for a golden duck.
Australia in India. Look. We're gonna lose.
But the thing is, the most important thing of all, is not until next year. We can lose all the matches between now and then - though I'd prefer we didn't - and if it meant we retain the Ashes five-nil, it would be well worth it.
However, my goodness India shit me off. There's Ganguly ranting about how they'll clean sweep the series for sure (prove me wrong boys, I beseech thee).
There's some other prick accusing us of cheating. Sehwag. How dare he. What's that expression about stones and glass houses... or kettles and black pots. Eh? EH? Like we lower our standards to your standards.
Then there's Kumble pressing his hands over his ears and pretending he can't hear, instead of leading from the front and saying "OY VIRENDER, AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE MATCH HAS STARTED." Or maybe he's just a little embarassed to hear his own comments echoed months down the track, mmm?
Did I mention I'm going to India in November?
And they "dropped" Andrew Symonds, yeah very likely. I think "attitude problem" might be code for "protect him from deranged Indians", which I'm all for. Anyway it's worked out quite well really, he's had a fishing lure named after him. Seriously, what more could he want from life?
Finally, let's hope someone has had the foresight to tape Harbhajan Singh's mouth shut.
It's not the Ashes. But damn it would be good to kick butt.
Oh. And if you're an Irish engineer who's a 'follower' of this page, can I have your number?