Wednesday, October 8, 2008

It's Miss Field, bitch

Ok ok so my comeback was worse that Britney's MTV effort, apparently. But in case you wondered -- I fell. Through fire. And water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak. Until at last, I threw down my enemy and some his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as the life age of the earth. But it was not the end, I felt light in me again.

I've been sent back until my task is done.

And if you've emailed me or requested anything in the last few weeks, I know there have been a couple, link swaps and all, please re-request. I didn't mean to forget but I did.

September was a shit month for cricket. But who'd have thought it would take an email from New Zealand Cricket to get me motivated. Especially one that looks like this.

I mean please, who's going to take that seriously? Nonetheless, BLACKCAPS.com is back too. Contain that excitement, at once! I bet Dan Vettori was thrilled that they used that photo. In fact, with such exciting CAPITALISATION, you'd think they'd have an EXCLAMATION MARK. Oh, wait...

In an in-depth analysis of this new look with a friend from across the ditch, it was suggested that maybe New Zealand Cricket are trying to make him seem a little bit, well, tougher.

I'm not convinced. I think he looks more like he won $200 on Deal or No Deal than got Ricky Ponting out for a golden duck.

ANYWAY, cricket.

Australia in India. Look. We're gonna lose.

But the thing is, the most important thing of all, is not until next year. We can lose all the matches between now and then - though I'd prefer we didn't - and if it meant we retain the Ashes five-nil, it would be well worth it.

However, my goodness India shit me off. There's Ganguly ranting about how they'll clean sweep the series for sure (prove me wrong boys, I beseech thee).

There's some other prick accusing us of cheating. Sehwag. How dare he. What's that expression about stones and glass houses... or kettles and black pots. Eh? EH? Like we lower our standards to your standards.

Then there's Kumble pressing his hands over his ears and pretending he can't hear, instead of leading from the front and saying "OY VIRENDER, AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE MATCH HAS STARTED." Or maybe he's just a little embarassed to hear his own comments echoed months down the track, mmm?

Did I mention I'm going to India in November?

And they "dropped" Andrew Symonds, yeah very likely. I think "attitude problem" might be code for "protect him from deranged Indians", which I'm all for. Anyway it's worked out quite well really, he's had a fishing lure named after him. Seriously, what more could he want from life?

Finally, let's hope someone has had the foresight to tape Harbhajan Singh's mouth shut.

It's not the Ashes. But damn it would be good to kick butt.


Oh. And if you're an Irish engineer who's a 'follower' of this page, can I have your number?

18 comments:

Edladd said...

Are you looking for one Irish engineer in particular or will I do ;o)

Moses @ Beer and Sport said...

Your comeback while worse than Britney's MTV effort was still better than JLo's.

Ganguly's pulled that clean sweep talk straight from his McGrath Quotes Almanack, good read.

First I've heard of Roy's fishing lure, might have to try it out. Is it good for Barra in Northern Waters? Might have to retire the Gold Bomber on my next trip for the Roy... Can't believe he's not there though, he hasn't even played ICL!

Link swap would be nice, http://beerandsport.blogsot.com/

Miss Field said...

I happen to admire the McGrath Quotes Almanack, got an autographed copy and all.

Oomby Dave said...

Good luck trying to find a Roy lure in the territory. They literally have thousands of varieties. I think I have located one however. Keep you posted.
PS I think Vettori is going for a pose in 'Hole In The Wall' ;)

Damith S. said...

Ganguly is retarded. There will be no clean-sweep. Maybe a 0-0 draw.

Dont worry we will soften up the English in April before you guys arrive:)

Link up would be appreciated
http://fly-slip.blogspot.com/

Miss Field said...

The she-sandgroper, that's awesome.

Links added, thanks lads.

So Damith S, who is we?

Damith S. said...

The Mighty Sri Lankans!

Sri Lanka in England, April - June 2009

Australia in England, June - September 2009

Miss Field said...

Yes - I just learnt that from your blogger profile.

Well then I leave our fate in your hands... go well! Make them cry like little girls.

The Atheist said...

Are you going to have a re-launch every few weeks to shameless raise publicity?

Like Agartha Christie, only about cricket.

And interesting.

Damith S. said...

Dont need a second invitation.

We will destroy them.

©hinaman said...

Did Ganguly really say India will clean sweep? I must have missed it - would you mind giving me a link to where it is reported?

I was of the impression he was saying the opposite -
http://www.news.com.au/heraldsun/story/0,21985,24458112-11088,00.html
http://inhome.rediff.com/cricket/2008/oct/07gangu.htm
http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,12341_4252620,00.html
http://content-usa.cricinfo.com/indvaus2008/content/story/372913.html
to quote a few.

I find one of your visitors have responded to your statement by calling him 'retarded' - I would like to be certain if he is.

I am as yet unable to find this statement of his - will be very grateful if you could give us the link.

DreamDancer said...

Looks like you won't have to worry about losing in India. Your boys are doing quite well at the moment.

Do you mind link swapping?
http://playingacrosstheline.blogspot.com/

Miss Field said...

Atheist, I'm working on making sure that doesn't happen... I can't guarantee it won't happen, nor that if it does it will be more interesting than Agatha Christie.

Chinaman - he did say it, I saw him say it, but you'll just have to take my word for it. It was on TV news, I have no link to it.

No worries Dreamdancer :)

Go Aussie!!

©hinaman said...

Fair enough MF.

It seems strange that the print media did not pick it up - its the kind of news that improves the ratings. Moreover it directly contradicts what is reported.

On the otherhand, on SkySports Cricket it is reported Sehwag has said India will win comfortably.

Made me wonder if it was a mis-quote.
But as you are certain, I have to accept your words.

Leg Break said...

Welcome back to the Sarah Palin of cricket blogging.

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