Thursday, November 27, 2008

Miss Field is A-Ok

Hello everyone from Full Tosser,

Now I know this doesn't have much to do with cricket and is a bit personal but here's just a quick update, with the recent bombings in India and Miss Field having landed there only hours before hand some of you might be worried about her. Fear not as she is safe and sound. She is actually currently in Kolkatta and will depart for Mumbai in a weeks time.

I do hope that all of our fellow Indian Bloggers are safe aswell and let us keep in mind the victims that are being affected by this attack, and secondly let us hope that things become stable enough so that cricket may resume (CA have pulled out of players going over there I believe)

Anyway, to make this at least a bit of a cricket post can I finish by saying that England suck. Our 2 nil defeat over there doesn't seem so bad after seeing the poms get a 5-0 shalacking.

Monday, November 24, 2008

Matthew Hayden: overstaying his welcome, one run-out at a time

I'm off on holidays for a few weeks tomorrow.

Before I go I just thought I'd share some parting wisdom in the form of... *drum roll*

My Solution to Australian Cricket Failure

1. Dump Shane Watson (been done, and not before time)
2. Dump Matthew Hayden (Ricky Ponting said today that Hayden has a place on the side for as long as he wishes to - bollocks to that I say)
3. Dump Ricky Ponting. I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. But it's just not working out anymore. And well, we have bigger fish to fry than New Zealand. And if we lose the Ashes because he's being kind to Matthew Hayden, he will have a power greater than me to answer to.

Finally, seeing as we played in a terribly shitty fashion and still managed to beat the crap out of New Zealand, I recommend that New Zealand dump ALL their players, and pick up Watson, Hayden, Ponting... it would be a start.

For anyone interested in the 3 Mobile 'Men of Cricket' calendar, it's on sale now.

I also got to be on Hair of the Blog in Darwin last weekend, I will post the link up upon my return. I may or may have defined manliness as how good one looks in a cricket uniform.

Monday, November 17, 2008

A new blog

My brother, Oomby Dave, who refers to himself as the Full Tosser on this blog, has decided to combine his two main interests and write a blog about them.

Women's cricket.

In his own words "This blog is dedicated to raising awareness of women's cricket around the world."

A truly noble mission.

Visit No Ballz here.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Cricket + Women = :O

Isn't it great to see so many women cricket fans popping up and telling the world of their adoration for the men that play cricket, even the ones that do semi-nude photo calendar shoots. I don't know about you other men but i'm quite happy to see the likes of Ian Bell, Shane Watson or indeed anyone who plays cricket with 2 testicles (and 1 testicle so that KP can be included in this) wearing their full batting armour and showing as little skin as possible. Traditionally cricket has been followed by men, there's no doubting that and I fully support Miss Field and the others getting involved, but what's in it for the men you ask?

Well the Full Tosser answers. Womens Cricket. It's been around for a while, has no coverage what so ever and has some gorgeous women attached to the game. Currently I am peeling my chin off the floor after seeing some of the beauties from around the world play my most beloved game, why haven't I discovered this before? Who cares i've discovered it now! For all ye fellow 2 testicled men out there prepare to be amazed:

Our Aussie Southern Stars recently found out they will get paid to play for their country... about time!

Lauren Ebsary fundraising. Nice in pink eh?

Delissa Kimmince showing us she can fling herself around like our fellas!

English rose Katherine Brunt accepting player of the series.

Charlotte Edwards and Claire Tayor somewhere in England thrying their best to brighten up surroundings, go for it girls:)

Charlotte Edwards and Katherine Brunt about to unleash their fury against the Indians...

Isa Guha appealing... very appealing...

Appealing and a Chem Graduate? mmmmm

Ebony Rainford-Brent just chillin' cos' that's what she likes doin'.

Shashikala Siriwardene about to pounce, allow your imagination to run wild here.

Isa Guha needing no caption.

Lotte Egging from Holland, I have this strange attraction to the dutch and i'm sure you can see why :)

Finally we come to her, Ellyse Perry, 17, RHB, Medium Pacers, wearing a Baggy Green for her country and stunningly beautiful. So beautiful infact she has now inspiried me to take up the Womens Cricket cause, c'mon fellas and ladies, don't just think about the men, let's give cricket a go for both sexes, get out there to your local, state or international game and cheer on these beautiful women. I for one (once I get out of the outback) will be going to ask many womens games as I can over the school holidays, I hope to see you there too.

Full Tosser

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Brad Hodge - self-fulfilling prophecy

I'm not intending to turn this blog into blind fangirl adoration, but it has to be said here at the outset of this post that Brad Hodge is gorgeous.

He is also a dickhead.

"I prove myself so often and tonight I just did it again, DID ANYONE SEE?!?!?!?!"

This behaviour annoys me, and if the young fool stopped and thought about it he might realise that talk like that might impact his selection chances.

Here are some more quotes (real) from this pillock. My favourite bit is in bold.

"I'm not really sure where I stand at the moment but all I can do is the same thing which I've done for a good decade now and that's make runs and continue to do what I do best and help Victoria."

"(But Andrew Symonds) hasn't set the world on fire in the short (time) since he's been playing domestic cricket. I suppose that's the criteria for getting selected to represent your country."

"We've always been in similar situations, myself and Simon (Katich). Opportunities have been scarce and I'm happy for him he's finally got a run at it over a decent period of time, something I've never got an opportunity at I guess."

"Probably time's not on my side but there are other forms of the game which come around and as you can see my skills are still high."

"I don't think you ever really give up the dream or ambition until you get a tap on the shoulder, sometimes the writing is on the wall."

"I don't necessarily see it that way but as long as I'm playing good cricket and continuing to strive hard, you never know."

Bloody Victorians.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Ho ho ho

On the subject of sexy, I got an email from a fellow she-sandgroper, Jane, who referred me here.

If you'd like to know where that link will take you, I'll give you a clue.
If you would like to know what to purchase your favourite girly blogger for Christmas (I'm not limiting this to myself here - I'm sure neither Miriam, Nightwatchgirl or Dinnie would return this present!), here it is.

I do however have two concerns about this - that Shane Watson will be in it and Ricky Ponting won't be. Hmm. Sounds like I could be talking about the Ashes next year. But really, who wants to see Shane Watson in this calendar? What's the bet his photo would have been taken in front of a mirror?

It's a fundraiser for Glenn "My heart is broken and I'm grief personified, but did someone say book tour?" McGrath's charity, the McGrath Foundation. So a worthwhile investment from you to... me.

Speaking of good causes, Jrod is going all out for Movember. Let's get behind him in the fashion of the IPL. Except without gaudy gold or Harbhajan Singh. Thanks. If you're Australian and would like to claim the donation back on your tax, you can donate to the Full Tosser here.

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Crack out the zinc

Does anyone else find it an amazing coincidence that Andrew Symonds has been recalled now that the tour of India is over?

He was sent to club cricket, so heinous was crime fishing in work time. CLUB CRICKET. And then he played for Queensland. And not particularly well, yet he's still been recalled to the Test squad.

Don't get me wrong. We need something. Something has to help. And personally, I think Andrew Symonds cures all. But I think, if he was going to get banished, fishing in work time shouldn't have been the cover story.

He should have hit a woman. Except Ricky Ponting did that, and his punishment wasn't anywhere what near this one.

So, he should have hit a woman during work time.

Anyway, it'll be nice to see sexy back. Red just isn't his colour.