Friday, December 19, 2008

Australia wins again!

You may recall that superblogger Suave declared that his England would finish second in the ICC test rankings by the end of this year.

Well he lost.

Yes, no surprises. Not even Kevin Pietersen could redeem that lot.

More importantly, it struck me that damnit he year has passed rather quickly. It was January, then June, then September, and now Christmas and cricket time. Hurrah. I think there might have been other months in there somewhere. Maybe.

So because he lost, Suave has to humiliate himself in some fashion. This will more than likely involve him wearing a t-shirt of my design to a test match.

I've heard it said that it's a bad reflection upon society today that I'm making him humiliate himself. I say it's fun! Might even be worth a trip to the old grey country for a look myself.

We would like to reopen the suggestion box, and if you can think of a cracker slogan for a shirt for the dear boy, well, good on you. We'll use it and you'll receive... nothing.

So far "Graeme Smith's bitch" is sounding good. Or maybe "I love Matthew Hayden". Got a better idea?

Vive la Republique!


yakkerz said...

I found Suave's blog a few days ago and I thought he was the only commentator using the correct vocab to describe the English cricket team. And now I find out that despite knowing perfectly well exactly what a bunch of ****s his team is, he thought that England would be second place by the end of the year?????

Holy Christ. The poms are more deluded than I thought.

I will tell you what he should put on that *****ing t shirt. (And it won't be *s)

I'll be back in a minute.

Moses @ Beer and Sport said...

how bout "Graeme Smith's Toy Boy"

Or a picture of Smith and Hayden in a sandwich with the caption "I made this"

yakkerz said...

Here are some quotes from the first page or so of Suave's blog - I really can't believe a man of such clarity and insight would make such a bet.

How about something like this for his t shirt -

I, Suave, declare that
Team England....
shithouse fuckducks piss weak pansies - Kevin Pietersen the man is a cunt Captain Fuckwit Fuck off you stupid grinned cockmunch can’t bat in the subcontinent, plays with a fractured rib stupid saffer halfwit - DEATH to Jimmy “I’m a wet fucking Blanket” Anderson - Sherminator get Sherminated - Alastair Cook you mascara wearing little fucktard learn to hit over the top, learn to sweep, or piss off and die you shitting cockface - James Anderson you are shit utterly shit you may even be crafted entirely of shit grow some balls, or fuck off - Fuck off Stephen “I’m a weak in the head wanker” Harmison CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT CUNT I know let’s bowl short and wide of off stump to Sehwag he’ll do fuck all with that - Monty Panesar PRICK PRICK PRICK every time I see this bucket handed bambi twat I want a smash an empty beer glass right into his bearded face - Prior The man is shit can’t catch and can’t bat Arsebiscuits to the lot of em.

...will be second place by end 2008

Might be getting a bit long for a T shirt, so maybe it should be shortened to "Harmy fanclub" or something.

Anonymous said...

Some suggestions:

"Jason Krejza's uglier big brother"
"I'm Boonies's love child"
"Men are from Mars, Harmies from Venus"

Ironic that Australia will (in most people's minds) end up as the second placed team by the end of the year ;-)

Rob said...

"414-4" ?

Miss Field said...

Wow, yakkerz, I really like that. Bit wordy though. And he may get arrested. But damn it's funny. And yes, you're correct, Poms are very deluded. Though I think it was blind loyalty more than delusion that led him to agreeing on that bet.

Boony's Lovechild is a good one too. Hmm. So's "Graeme Smith's toyboy". How about... "Graeme Smith is my lovechild"? Ha.

Yes Rob. 4/414.