Friday, June 27, 2008

KP speaks (and thinks)

"I'm humbled (what means this?) to have been handed the England one-day captaincy in Paul Collingwood's absence for the final game at Lord's.

"Captaining England has been a dream of mine (look at them buying this bullshit) but I also understand that I'm assuming the role in Paul's absence as he is the captain and leader of the one-day side (until I can think of another way, seeing as I'm second-in-line now).

"To be asked to captain your country (get me a bucket) is the ultimate honour in sport and I feel privileged and proud to have been asked to lead the side on Saturday (and they'd better not fuck it up, the fuckers, I'll kill them).

"I'm very much looking forward to leading the team against New Zealand (I wonder if they need a captain?) and am excited by the challenge of captaining such a young and talented (talent? HAHAHA. I am England) side.

"We can't win this series but I, like the rest of the dressing room (the dressing room has expectations? Who wrote this drivel? I suppose its intellectual capacity is greater than Paul's, and the rest), expect an outstanding England performance to finish the series on a high (so Ryan will be aiming for concussions at the minimum and I will be encompassing interpretive dance as a prelude to switch-hitting)."

An online novel for the blogrolls

“Fuck it, Ash. I’ve told you I can’t be with a man going nowhere.”
“I wouldn’t call the middle of the SCG nowhere, Kaz.”


Jason Davis, a 36-year-old journo from Brisbane, has worked for The Courier-Mail, Sydney Morning Herald, Sun-Herald and various well-known mags.

He is also a published author.

Let’s pause here for a moment of awe. Respect. Envy.

His first book, Baby Steps, was published in 2006, and is, in his own words, “the crazy true tale of my wife and my experience picking our way through the bizarre world of IVF.”

Now he is writing his next contribution to the literary world as a blog, a story called The Curly Situation.

Jason, a self-confessed crime fiction addict, is also a cricket fan, and this story has been brewing for a few years now.

The story revolves around Curly Gibson, an Aussie cricketer whose talent for accidental sporting success is surpassed only by his talent for getting shot at.

It’s grand. The characters are interesting, the writing is clever, the story is engaging.
Jason updates the story twice a week and there’s also a tips jar, so if you love it, cross his e-palm with e-silver (or e-notes).

“I hadn’t been this close to someone since, in a moment of weakness, Mark Waugh had loaned me his box.”

I predict greatness. Go there. Read it. Love it. Do as I say.

Chinaman serves it up to the BBC

Dear Ms Hallett (Rachel Hallett - BBC Data Protection Officer) and Mr Trickett (Alex Trickett - BBC Sports Interactive Producer)

Thanks for you email dated 25 June 2008.

Ms Hallett, you write to me -
"I can confirm that the BBC Sport office received and processed a written complaint in relation to the Silly Point blog. I apologise that you were mistakenly told the complaint was received via telephone".

I can argue it was not a mistaken information. It was Mr Trickett's response to my complaint enquiring why the link had been removed. He wrote in his email of 11th June, "I agreed to put your link up in good faith last year I believe and was forced to take it down when I received a complaint (via telephone I believe and certainly not via 606)".

Mr Trickett, you received the complaint, it is not hearsay. You must have seen/read the complaint - which Ms Hallett confirms was a written complaint. It could not have been a telephone complaint as you wanted me to believe.

As it was a written complaint, which was processesed and action taken, which I perceive as a negative action against something that belongs to me, I am entitled to that complaint under the Data Protection Act 1998.

Any member of public is also entitled to know what information you hold about the website "The Silly Point" and its owner Chinaman. That is under the Freedom of Information Act 2000. I had asked for it under both legislation.

I again, and for the final time, request that I be sent a copy of the complaint. The only logical explanation for withholding it is, you do not wish to disclose the name of the complainant. As you had already acted on the complaint, you no longer can do that.

Disclosing it does not prejudice the independence of BBC editors - it may prejudice their claim to unbiased and impartial working. That is not a valid reason to refuse me access under either of these Acts.

I think it would be best if we start afresh on this issue. This is to avoid things spiraling out of control.Mr Trickett is in possession of irrefutable evidence of what I have complained about. You must have realised, I do know about my rights. There is one outcome I will not accept - that is evasion or a cover up.

As I have written to you mr Trickett, I now know you yourself run/moderate the 606 feedback forum.I showed you the details of when I wrote on that forum alleging of biased moderation and defamatory posts that was being written against me on 606 by one particular member called "LBW" and his friends. You deleted my post, did not send me the explanatory email, and failed to take action.

This repeated deleting of my articles, my comments, my profiles and persistently ignoring my concerns and complaints by 606, Mr Trickett, constitutes Harassment. You have been part of it.
I am surprised that Ms Hallett has written, "I confirm that the BBC does not have a specific policy relating to harassment of members of the public."

It is a public service.The BBC team, moderators, editors and it includes you too Mr Trickett as one of the producers, have direct communications with members of the public. It is a gross failure of the BBC not to have a clear Harassment Policy. Thanks for this information, I shall raise it in future to appropriate authorities.

Mistakes have been made, they can be corrected. Those mistakes have caused me harm, the least BBC can do is to repair that damage. It does not take any money or much effort to put up your hand and acknowledge the truth.

I hold BBC responsible for the damage caused to my website and my reputation by one of your members, in writing on one of your moderated forums. I have listed to Mr Trickett, a short list of desired outcome. I have said I do not wish to burden the taxpayers.

It is for you to decide if you are brave enough to correct the mistakes made by your team and yourself. Before I write to the Complaints/Litigation divisions, I believe you should discuss with your legal advisors which is the easier outcome.As I have said before, this will not go away. This email can be the last, but can also be the first of the complaint against 606 and yourself, Mr Trickett.

Have a good day,
Chinaman

Thursday, June 26, 2008

England/New Zealand match commentators wonder...

"Has he struggled against Sidebottom, with the angle, or is he comfortable?"

You tell us.

In summary

Cheat.

Cheat.


Cheat.

Cheats.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Leadership in cricket

The ECB have cancelled Zimbabwe's tour of England and Zimbabwe's participation in next year's Twenty20 Championship in England. So pretty much they're banned from England.

THANK YOU.

Finally, some leadership from someone.

Why did it have to be England?

Oh that's right, because they're the ones with a tour next scheduled.

Wait a minute, aren't India supposed to be in Zimbabwe at the moment? My blog says so!

I lose track.

I've said it before and will reiterate here, sport and politics cannot and should not be separate. The Olympic Games is another can of worms, but for that debate I direct you here.

Anyway, England won't be fined by the ICC because it's actually the British Government banning Zimbabwe from touring.

One day, when Zimbabwe will be back in the cricket circles, when their troubles are less one Robert Mugabe, it'll be great to have them back.

Monday, June 23, 2008

Steve Waugh: Status Confirmed

Guest blog by The Full Tosser:

In the recent light of clever articles written, co-written and produced by Miss Field I have decided to look up a few players for myself on the social networking site Facebook. Of the many awesome groups (Beat Ian Bell around the head with his bat then stick stumps up his bum, being my favourite) I have settled on one, The one.

It is none other than the tall, die hard aussie cricketer and all round good guy: Steve Waugh.

Results for Stevie are varied but there is an inevitable positive feel about this fella. May I also point out, there are no negative groups. And I believe that speaks volumes, considering that on the 'burns victim' Ian Bell front there was a mixed bag of opinions on that sausage eating midget.

Anyway down to business starting from the least popular group:

Of Course! I have met Steve Waugh in person. (13 members) This group would undoubtedly increase in size if all the Indians he has met had a Facebook accounts. Recent news of this group being: "Guess what? I met Steve Waugh." But that's ok, even if you met the dude years ago I think most Aussies and cricket respecting players/followers (no Poms cos there's no respect there...) would be able to claim that and still have a kudos status greater than Paul Keating after he met the Queen.

We Need Steve Waugh (20 members) Not much happening in this group although there are more people who need Steve Waugh rather than have met him. Unlike those who have met Graeme Smith, who well exceed the amount that need him. The description does make for interesting reading: "Steve Waugh is not only Aust greatest cricketer, but would never allowed our character to be dragged through the mud. We miss u Steve. S R Waugh never lost the Ashes" Fair call I say, mind you the Poms only started cheating the moment the 05 Ashes began so I'm not sure if we can all blame our Ricky for that...

Steve Waugh Appreciation Society. (50 members) It is beginning to become apparent that some people will make up any old group with uninspiring names like this, I reckon if I looked hard enough I could find the "2 Girls one Cup Appreciation Society", and that's not a group anyone should be a member of! Usman Darr eloqunetly quotes: "If mother earth had a cricket match with other planets, Steve Waugh would captain us." Hear hear.

I still miss Steve Waugh (53 members)
Slightly more original group title though no much action in the group, a few odd posts but the pictures are what makes this group worthwile. See, able.

Now this is what the Aussie team is all about, the digger attitude. Many comparisons can be drawn from the ANZAC boys to our team, and New Zealand's I suppose. The Australians being the kickers of shit (yes you know which team is the shit) and the Kiwis taking up the rear (not taken up the rear) trying their best but at the end of the day being not good enough.

Steve Waugh is a God in Cricket (114 members) Now we're talking good group names. Succinct and down to the point straight away, truthful too. There are a few topical debates that are raging between who is better, Warne or Ponting, which is interesting considering this is a site dedicated to Waugh, maybe they misspelt Waugh's name into Warne. Bloody Poms...

And finally The Church of Steve Waugh (192 members) Obviously this is a religious group and thus placed in the right category. Many members means this is a hip and happening group where all the cool people go cos the uncool are uninvited and must contend with the "I think Andre Nel has a pretty face" group.

One particular thing I would like to mention is the sledging part of this group. A few qoutes are pulled from here and pushed from there and show what a wit and genius Waugh was with his mouth, here is a sample:
In a Sheffield Shield game between NSW and SA, Steve Waugh was taking an eternity to take guard, asking the umpire for centre, middle and leg, two legs - the whole lot. Then he steps away towards leg side and has another look around the field, before re checking centre.
Jamie Siddons is at slip, and decided enough is enough. He yells out-"For christ sake, it's not a fuckin test match."
Waugh replies: "Of course it isn't … You're here."

And one more...
In the Ashes of 02/03, every time Nasser Hussain went out to bat, he was greeted with the same thing from Steve Waugh: "Enjoy it Nasser, this is your last test. We will never see you again." Brilliant.

So what can we all conclude from this? Steve Waugh has no negative Facebook groups, he is a hero with the wit of Oscar Wilde and if you are stupid enough to make a group with a silly name like... "Michael Vaughn" then no one will join and you'll end up looking like an ass, like... Michael Vaughan.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Jane's gone

Jane McGrath died today after an 11-year battle with cancer. She was 42.

Everyone here is in shock - this may have been on the cards for a while now but it hasn't been expected.

The McGrath Foundation website have posted the following:

IT is with deep sadness that the family and friends of Jane McGrath, beloved wife of former Australian cricketer Glenn and loving mother of James and Holly, must announce she passed away at her home this morning.

With Glenn and their two children by her side, Jane's wonderful life ended peacefully after a sudden decline in her health over the past week.

Jane, 42, had surgery earlier in the year and was recovering before complications set in.

Jane McGrath has left a lasting legacy through the McGrath Foundation, an organisation that is providing thousands of women hope - and support - in their fight against breast cancer.

The McGrath Family have requested their privacy be respected at this very difficult time.

Jane and Glenn set up the McGrath Foundation a few years ago (they have a very cute logo) which fundraises for the installation of breast care nurses in regional Australian centres. If you would like to donate to this worthwhile cause you may do so here.

The ABC News have also got the following:

Cricket Australia chief executive James Sutherland said that all of Australian cricket was saddened to learn that Jane McGrath had died.

"On behalf of Cricket Australia, but also I am sure of cricket fans everywhere, I offer our sincere condolences to Glenn, James and Holly, as well as to Jane's broader family and many friends," he said in a statement.

"Jane was well-known, loved and admired throughout Australian cricket and was one of the most respected and admired members of the Australian cricket team family group during Glenn McGrath's playing days.

"All of us who met her were charmed by her dignity and good humour as she tackled her battle with her illness for more than 10 years.

"We also greatly respected the work she and Glenn did through their Foundation, work which brought and will continue to bring tangible comfort to so many others.

"It was typical of her to set aside her own concerns and to offer so much energy and hope to others touched by breast cancer."

I remember Jane was devastated when Belinda Emmett died, it doesn't seem like that long ago, and I suppose that's because it wasn't.

One in eight women will get breast cancer. That's a shit statistic.

I know I speak for every cricket bloggers and readers everywhere when I say that our thoughts are with the McGrath family.

Rest in peace Jane.

Friday, June 20, 2008

Cricket tipping: Round whatever-it-is

Sportsfreak's cricket bloggers' tipping competition is going well.

I am in second place.

English people are winning.

The leaderboard looks like this:

King Cricket 30
Republique Cricket 30
Miss Field 29
The Silly Point 26
Well Pitched 26
Sportsfreak 25
Beer and Sport 25
Ben from Mike on Cricket 25
Sport Review 24
Mike from Mike on Cricket 22
Cricket With Balls 20
Cricket Action Art 20

Here are the questions for the next round.
1. ODI at Portishead Park: Winner
2. Portishead Park: Highest run-scorer
3. PP: Most wickets
4. ODI at Fosters Oval: Winner
5. FO: Highest run-scorer
6. FO: Most wickets
7. ODI at Lords (no funny titles appropriate there): Winner
8. Lords: Highest run-scorer
9. Lords: Most wickets
10. Shortest innings in terms of balls faced excluding not out batsmen.

Now, Leg Break who usually posts the tips on the Sportsfreak site, is going away. But don't be sad, he'll be back soon.

Unfortunately, however, some naughty people have not yet submitted their tips, so he can't publish the whole list. However, so that everyone knows he isn't cheating (as if anyone would have thought he's cheating - he's a Kiwi not a Pom) here are his tips:

New Zealand - Surely then anger levels are high enough to break the duck?
How - Surely, one of those starts gets converted.
Southee - With a stronger bowling line-up, they are going to target him.
England - Win one, lose the next etc.
KP - Flat track bully on flat track.
Luke Wright - Do not adjust your set.
New Zealand - Too little too late
Prince Brendan
Vettori - Too little too late
An east one - Daniel Flynn.

Anyone who hasn't submitted their tips as yet should should be advised that the deadline was a few hours ago, so expect to lose a point.

Let's see, who hasn't submitted theirs as yet... Chinaman and Jrod. I'm sure they're either saving lives or rallying on the steps of Cricket Australia to get some old guy selected; both very important reasons to be held up.

Oh, and else's name do I see that hasn't submmited as yet? Ahh, Suave.

I think he's watching the Hoobs. Shame. It could have been great. Because at the moment he's equal first. But not for long.

I must say, I'll be quite disappointed when this is all over, it's been great fun. Who votes Leg Break should maintain ongoing cricket tipping?

Friday, June 13, 2008

Ian Bell, a Facebook legend

Facebook loves Ian Bell, and some of the best-named groups for the whole of Facebook can be found when searching his name.

And considering there are only 11 Ian Bell related groups that I could discern, that's a pretty impressive feat.

Let us see.

The fans, seven groups...
Ian Bell appreciation society - 432 members - the page description reads Obviously the gretest English batsman of all time! however the second most recent post on the Wall says Yet another absolutely gash performance from the little ginger shit...how much longer can the useless twat take the place of a proper batsman??? Thank you for that contribution, Paul Worthington of Manchester. Mmm, fans indeed! If only I could be so gret.

There's I'm Ian Bell, the real Ian Bell, all the other Ian Bells are just imitating which, although uses a photo of Ian as its profile pic, otherwise is just a group for men named Ian Bell. There are 11 members.

Another good one, Ian Bell's Forearms, boasts three members. They all have the same surname and the two Wall posts are as follows:
Just look at those trunks for forearms. The Guy is a machine...
Me thinks you doth have too much time on your hands!!! xoxox


Love it.

On neutral ground is another top group, Keith (brother of Ian) Bell is a hero. With 19 members it's essentially, a group for his friends, but this page is so awesome because every single time Keith is mentioned, it's followed by "brother of Ian" in brackets.

Keith (brother of Ian) Bell is by far the best Bell. This group is for people to put forward their case for this. Example; Keith (brother of Ian) scored a century in each innings on his minor county debut, Ian never has. And when entered by Ian, Keith came third in a local six pack competition. Keith (brother of Ian) therefore is by far the best Bell. Please feel free to add your comments.

Such comments include: keith once had his drink spiked at OLs rugby club - barbara asked for his stomach to be pumped at the local hospital. the nurse took one looked at keith's famed six-pack and laughed in barbara's face. ian would have needed an IV drip for a week.

There are three anti-Ian groups, one called End the Bell!! - 17 members - whose recent news reads: Ian Bell still lives campaign harder my minions

Another is my favourite ever, called Beat Ian Bell around the head with his bat then stick stumps up his bum. I kid you not. The group - with 34 members - is For everyone who believes that Ian Bell is the biggest waste of space since time began. A few centuries in one day tests doth not an Ashes player make.

with one poster (from Manchester no less) writing At last, the public recognising what a waste of time the burns victim looking bed wetter is. Get some runs when it counts you half pint shitkicker! Ouch!

In fact here are some more comments. They're all priceless and I can't pick.
win one bloody ashes and they knight the whole fucking team......cabbages!

Ian Bell will never hit a ton against Australia..

i suspect that mark webb's defence of ian bell is based purely on ginger-solidarity. i vote his expulsion from the group.


And what do you know, a wall post from Paul Worthington of Manchester that says Yet another absolutely gash performance from the little ginger shit...how much longer can the useless twat take the place of a proper batsman??? Does anyone else see a pattern emerging here?

Incidentally, there's also a group called The England cricket team needs ME! with 181 members. Just noticed I still have this group here and most things now seem irrelevant except that England are still predominantly and exasperatingly shit! We all know that we can bat better than Strauss, Joyce and Vaughan. We all know that we can bowl better than Lewis, Anderson and Dalrymple. We all know that we can keep better than Read, Nixon and Jones. We all think that the team sheet would look better with our name on it.

Thank you Ian Bell, you bring amusement to the masses.

When the world lets you down

While the largest island and smallest continent in the world is partying for one of our own, a drama has unfolded over here.

Now, Chinaman, who created this site, maintains the forum and writes the blogs, has not had an easy run with this page.

People who were supposed to be helping were plotting against him to take over the site, they failed and the situation resulted in a hate campaign against Chinaman. Subsequently he lost a number of members and was removed from a BBC Sport blogroll (among other nasty things).

As there was no reason for his initial removal he was recently added again. However, the BBC producer who was investigating the situation wasn't happy with him using posting An Ode to The England - a post from this blog which he particularly liked - as the words 'fuck' and 'twat' were used.

Although the Silly Point link is still there, according to this producer, this particular post can potentially warrant the removal of the Silly Point link (again!).

The most galling aspect of this is that Chinaman is committed to maintaining a site that does not tolerate bullying and pointless profanity, and yet one blog post that uses two contextualised 'swear words' is unacceptable? People like Chinaman are what this world needs more of, they should not be ostracised.

Personally I think the BBC producer is annoyed because the post made fun of the English team and Andrew Flintoff. Had it been written about Ponting and Co this would not be an issue.

I urge everyone, regardless of whether you support England or not, to get over there, discover what a fantastic site The Silly Point is, show your support for Chinaman and your disappointment with the BBC producer's attitude, for surely if we scour the other blogs linked, we wouldn't have to look too hard to find similar words.

Hooray for Jrod

Good evening and welcome to the end of my week.

I would like to congratulate Jrod for a successful campaign, Cricket With Balls is the featured blog in this month's Wisden.

This is well-deserved recognition and there's no doubt Jrod has a blindingly bright future. Just don't forget us or we'll hunt you down.

Not only has he won a one thousand per cent increase in hits, he will also get to be Mr June in Miss Field's Bloggers of Wisden 2009 calendar.

Stuart Broad has already pre-ordered his calendar.

The question is, will it be over to Dubai or back to England for next month's Wisden?

Monday, June 9, 2008

Cricket like teenage girls

During my first year in high school someone in my year group decided to categorise all the lunchtime social groups and bestow each with a grading depending on perceived popularity and 'coolness'.

As an Australian, watching New Zealand lose to England is like watching your E group little sister attempt to stand up for herself against, well, someone who wishes they were in an A group.

In fact, they’re hoping that by such feats of intimidation they will be elevated into A group status.

Your sister, she’s doing her best, but she’s drowning. You cringe watching her, wanting to help, but her pride will only be dented if you comment.

Her comebacks are dreadful. “Sticks and stones” and “Leave me alone” do little to help the situation as the B group bitch tears shreds from her good character.

You hate the B group bitch. You know she’s worthless and only going back to her group of tarts to gloat. And sure, maybe ripping someone’s soul out and setting it on fire in front of the whole school is some reason to gloat.

But she’s not really as good as she thinks she is. That’s why she’ll always be hovering on the fringes, seeking acceptance and validation, but always just mediocre.

That little kid deserves better. She should win because she’s brilliant, and a better person than any of the B group bitches will ever be.

All you can do is hope that her comebacks get better and then one day she might even win.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Jacques... a bit more popular than Graeme

So last week you liked my in-depth analysis of Graeme Smith's presence on Facebook. Thanks.

I was so pleased with this that I didn't write again for a week.

But here and now I shall look at just what Facebook thinks of Jacques Kallis, by request. Unfortunately however, Facebook Jacques is not nearly as interesting as Facebook Graeme.
Let's see...

There are nine Facebook groups about Jacques Kallis (a couple of IPL groups as well, but they don't count).

Sadly, seven are fan groups. This means that the number of people who love Jacques Kallis enough to set up a fanpage outweight the number who hate him enough to set up a loathing page. Shame, the loathesome ones are always more fun to read.

The first search result is Jacques Kallis is Awesome. The Jack Bauer of Cricket. The group boasts 181 members and its author has written this in the Group Info section: "basically jacques makes me wet, being a heterosexual man i don't make statements such as this without carefully considering the implications, but along with keifer sutherland, jacques is one of the two men i would consider letting bum me."

Interesting. I'm sure Jacques will be thrilled at this generous offer.

The author did shoot himself in the foot a bit when, after writing a detailed overview of Jacques' career, concluded with "Andrew Flintoff Who?" Andrew Flintoff, then.

Jacques Kallis supports Club - 154 members - but the pressing matter of just which club he supports is not addressed.

Jacques Kallis is an absolute legend!!!! - 107 members - with four exclamation marks, you got that? Not interesting whatsoever, only got a mention because of the large number of members.

F*ck the quota system, bring back Jacques Kallis - 68 members - "This group is to show support for Jacques Kallis and all other South African sports men and women who have been left out of teams because of STUPID quota systems" Mmm, poignant.

Of course there's a S.A has produced some of the best cricket players ever group - 189 members - because it would be a world gone topsy-turvy if there wasn't a group that epitomises South African arrogance.

Now for the good ones...
Michael Hussey, what a hero!! Stuff Jacques Kallis - 5 members - hooray for the Huss!
The fact that it only has five members means nothing. Nothing! And the fact that the creator left the group means nothing either, got it?

jacques kallis is a prick! - 5 members - Interestingly this group categorises itself as Common Interest - Gardening. Its Recent News section consists of "kallis is a prick!". Although true, the creator should consider investing in a Thesaurus, because there are a lot of words appropriate for Mr Kallis, no need to use any more than once.

That's it for Jacques, no gold mine was uncovered unfortunately, and nothing about his esteemed personal life, but I believe in Facebook, I believe there's some extreme loathing for certain players out there, and I will find it.

An ode to The England

Welcome to Miss Field's guest blogger, The Full Tosser's second post:

If you can name the title of this song and who sings the real version you will score a prize!

Best of luck and enjoy:

LIKE A FLINTOFF FROWN
(A song about the most recent Ashes series)

Once upon a time you felt so fine
You crushed the Aussie pride, down the line, didn't you?
People'd call, say, "Beware now, they ain't minnows"
You thought they were all kiddin' you
You used to laugh about
Every ball that was, laying about
Now you don't chant so loud
Now you don't look so proud
About having to be scrounging for your next wicket

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be five nil down
Not able to turn it around
Like a Flintoff frown

You've gone to Adelaide Oval all right, scored big
But ya know ya gonna need to, keep the lead
And nobody has ever taught you how to swing that ball here
And now you find out you're gonna have to, give up the lead
You thought it'd never, come to this
But with Warney, Ponting and Gilchrist
They're not selling any Pommy Pride
As they stare into the vacuum of your eyes
And say, is that now two nil...?

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be five nil down
Not able to turn it around
Like a Flintoff frown

You always turned around to see the frowns of the Barmy crowd
When they all came down and shouted, chants for you
You never understood that you ain't no good
You should let other people tell you, what to do
You used to think that it would, somehow get better
But three then four and five nil then you ain't the winner
Ain't it hard when you discover that
Ian Bell was a twat
After he fucked up everything he could fuck up....

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be five nil down
Not able to turn it around
Like a Flintoff frown

Panesar in the stands and all the Pommy people
They're drinkin', thinkin' that they got it made
Exchanging all kinds of rhymes
But you'd better lift your retard head, it'd better dawn hey
You used to think that you're unbeatable
But Ricky in his Baggy Green and his pride too
Go to hell now, it sucks to be you, you can't refuse
When you got nothing, you got nothing to lose
You're shamed now, you got no pride to conceal

How does it feel?
How does it feel?
To be five nil down
Not able to turn it around
Like a bum in a crowd
Like a Flintoff frown

A brief exchange

I've been having an interesting Wall-to-Wall exchange with Spigot over on Facebook.

It's gone like this -

Spigot: You realise that as he (James Anderson) did it yesterday it's clearly obvious that he will do this every single day next summer...

Me: You hope.

Spigot: Well "you hope" sounds a lot better than "you wish"... I'll take that for now, you're clearly deeply unsettled over the Windies series...

While I have no doubt that Mr Spigot was not being serious (right?), I have noticed that some people of the English variety do seem to think that England's performance against New Zealand (and, to a lesser extent, Australia's performance against the West Indies) is a reflection of how the Ashes will fare next year.

I, however, see it as a reflection of how shoddy New Zealand are at the moment. England versus South Africa may be a better indication.

Although I suppose we should thank the Kiwis for luring the English into a false sense of security (I will personally thank Daniel Vettori later).

But even so, let's not pre-empt anything.

Friday, June 6, 2008

Luke's turn!

HOORAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!

Luke Ronchi has got the call. He's gonna GET A BAGGY GREEN! He's going to the West Indies! He's going to hang out with Ricky Ponting! He's going to play cricket! I'm envious of all these things.

Brad Haddin broke a finger (heh heh. Who said that?!) and is in doubt.

So, while I hope Brad's injury isn't too serious, I hope it's serious enough to keep him out for as long as it takes for Luke to prove himself and cement a place in the team. Knowing our cricket team, that may take a while.

I would also just like to say that I am aware many of you dislike Simon Katich, but I think I reserve the right to dislike him the most, as he abandoned Western Australia.

You all know how I feel about deserters.

And we all know that the darkest circles of hell are reserved for mutineers and traitors.