Friday, January 9, 2009

And now for something completely different...

My 2009 mission -

My dear friend Miss Field, allowed me to guest write for her cricket blog, which took me by surprise because 1) I have no appreciation for the sport whatsoever and 2) I have no understanding of the game itself. Having played a few games of drunken beach cricket with a beer in my hand and a traumatising game of French cricket in the 6th Grade I am what most would regard as cricket’s worst nightmare.

It was with this in mind that Miss Field decided to take it upon herself to educate me in the ways of cricket greatness. An opportunity to educate the cricket philistine I am to become the crème de la crème of cricket commentator. Having only written in the past about boyfriends, the city I live in and an occasional letter to my Grandparents, I welcomed the opportunity with open arms.

Miss Field wanted this to be a progressive education that would see me go from Cricket Ladette to Cricket Lady without the messy television show. It is why I am here writing to you in my cricket ignorance.

My first taste you could say of cricket bliss was a photo of Graeme Smith. Having been advised though that digging the opposition is a BIG no-no, I couldn’t stop myself from wondering how any one man can draw so much appeal? A “fat” cricketer with freckles and no lips with a tendency to date skinny blonde models (with names longer than my first published piece) would be enough to turn any straight woman gay (or drive any other “fat” cricketer with freckles and no lips to tears), but for some strange reason the man has appeal (though not hard when you're in a field that includes Shane Warne).

So I leave you pondering the thought that, Mr Graeme “I play with a broken hand because I’m totally hardcore” (and what I would think, completely insane) Smith, could possibly be the hottest cricketer of all time… maybe a close second to Brendon Julian (until he discovered the beauty that is Dunsborough and the wealth that is the Wylie Family)….I suspect though that Miss Field is going to certainly have her work cut out for her with this cricket philistine…

- let's call her... Batting Average.

8 comments:

Oomby Dave said...

Hey welcome Batting Average!

Interesting slant you have on this wonderful game, I reckon in a years time you will look back at this post abd be all like ... :O

Rahul said...

Great nationalst that you are, no debate even.. All the best against those freckled guys with their skinny girlfriendson your next tour.. And may your captain atleast have the guts to bowl his normal bowlers (and give a rest to the overworked part timers) in a match situation.. Amen!

Ceci said...

You are straight onto the most important thing in a cricket match - who is the HOT man to watch. Watch carefully as they do their stretchy warm up exercises - and do not be constrained by national or international barriers - a HOT cricketer is a HOT cricketer...and get in line for Smith missy...

Anonymous said...

I would have done the same thing that Smith did. Youre not a leader if you dont lead by good example.
WHAT is your obsession with Graeme Smith??? You must like him. You are forgetting that poofter who is dating Lara (big tits) Bloody Bingle. He will have to cross his fingers that the Australian team (by the time he gets to be the captain) will have tacticians like Warne,Gilchrist,Langer, and Mcgrath. You cant judge Smith without being in the position he is in.

Miss Field said...

Who, me? I think what Smithy did was admirable.

Batting Average is new to this, go easy on her.

Wicket Maiden said...

Don't get the obsession with Smith either. I don't really find men who are as broad as they are tall, with no lips very appealing.
Batting Average- have you seen Mitchell Johnson? Now that is one yummy cricketer! If not - Miss Field, please show Batting Average the Men of Cricket calendar pix of MJ. and no, I haven't got over them yet, but can you blame me??!

Jrod said...

Hello dear blogging friend,

Cricket with balls has now moved, true story.

We are now at cricketwithballs.com, so if you could update our address in your blogroll that would be great.

Ofcourse if you already had us down as .com, never mind.

Cheers.

Miss Field said...

Hussy!