Thursday, January 1, 2009

Shut up Roy

Sometimes I like to declare things un-Australian.

It's tongue in cheek. Usually it's a politician who declares something to be un-Australian, when there's no other means of condemnation.

Andrew Symonds has declared the treatment of Matt Hayden by the media to be un-Australian.

No Roy, this has not been a 'trial by media'. The failure is there for one and all to see.

And what did Hayden have to say for himself on the news tonight?

"There's more to being in the team than how many runs you make."

Actually, when you're an opening batsman, I'd say there's not a lot else for him to be concerned about.

He's scored a grand total of 56 runs in his last six innings. Roy, that ain't the media's fault.

For your curiosity, I have compiled a list of a few things that are damn well un-Australian.

Not liking Kylie
Being from Tassie
Not eating a meat pie on grand final day
Calling soccer 'football'
Knowing the words to the national anthem
Losing the Boxing Day Test
Not taking Vegemite on your TopDeck tour
Not knowing that a thong is footwear
Liking Sydney more than Melbourne
Not shedding a tear on Anzac Day, pacifist or not
Not using the word Pom
Not shortening everything to end in o
Calling a koala a 'koala bear'
Not learning to swim or drive
Not liking Midnight Oil
Not going to Bali
Voting in local government elections
Not liking Young Einstein
Using 'alright' as a greeting
Australia Day not being your favourite day of the year
Not appreciating Kath and Kim
Being a cadbury
Not knowing what a cadbury is
Shagging your best mate's brother
Not knowing who Don Bradman was

Sally Robbins lying down during the Olympic rowing final
Losing the Ashes
Not drinking your tea through a Tim Tam


Rob said...

Not being selected to score runs? Are they trying to emulate England or something?

Anonymous said...

i think symonds has lost it......he must shut up or get lost

The Old Batsman said...

Says the man selected for his fielding.

Oomby Dave said...

Can I add another one?

Drinking Fosters

David Barry said...

Voting in local government elections
O to be in Western Australia again.... You get fined for not voting in Qld local government elections. Same in Victoria.

(I'm not actually sure how many people get fined, but the threat is there.)

Knowing the words to the national anthem
Thanks to Adam Hills I actually know most of the second verse now.

YellowMonkey said...

The players just back each other up like a PR agency. Especially when the teammates said MacGill was the second best leggie of all time as though he is better than Grimmett and O'Reilly.

Or that Hayden is the best opener Australia ever had. Simpsons for one is better, he did it without a helmet against Trueman and Hall

U suck coffee thru Tim Tams not tea! said...

Here's another:

Having a chop at tall poppies.

Leave Roy alone, Emo!

Oomby Dave said...

Missy did someone just call you emo? Haha

Damith S. said...

This post is very un-Australian if you ask me

Damith S. said...

ps-happy new yr miss field !

Miss Field said...

Rob, I think you're onto something there. Maybe they're filming one of those reality documentaries like The Abbey or something. They'll release it later in the year... "The England".

SLD, don't think it was the brighest or most well thought out thing he's ever said. Roy is the perfect example of what should be seen and not heard.

OB, YellowMonkey and Davo, spot on.

DB, damn we are over governed! How much is the fine?

TimTam, we emos prefer tea. Coffee gives us too much energy, and it's not good when you're busy trying to look morose. And er, not hacking tall poppies is un-Australian.

Sorry Damith, will try harder next time. Happy new year to you!

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