Shut up Roy

Sometimes I like to declare things un-Australian.

It's tongue in cheek. Usually it's a politician who declares something to be un-Australian, when there's no other means of condemnation.

Andrew Symonds has declared the treatment of Matt Hayden by the media to be un-Australian.

No Roy, this has not been a 'trial by media'. The failure is there for one and all to see.

And what did Hayden have to say for himself on the news tonight?

"There's more to being in the team than how many runs you make."

Actually, when you're an opening batsman, I'd say there's not a lot else for him to be concerned about.

He's scored a grand total of 56 runs in his last six innings. Roy, that ain't the media's fault.

For your curiosity, I have compiled a list of a few things that are damn well un-Australian.

Not liking Kylie
Being from Tassie
Not eating a meat pie on grand final day
Calling soccer 'football'
Knowing the words to the national anthem
Losing the Boxing Day Test
Not taking Vegemite on your TopDeck tour
Not knowing that a thong is footwear
Liking Sydney more than Melbourne
Not shedding a tear on Anzac Day, pacifist or not
Not using the word Pom
Not shortening everything to end in o
Calling a koala a 'koala bear'
Not learning to swim or drive
Not liking Midnight Oil
Not going to Bali
Voting in local government elections
Not liking Young Einstein
Using 'alright' as a greeting
Australia Day not being your favourite day of the year
Not appreciating Kath and Kim
Being a cadbury
Not knowing what a cadbury is
Shagging your best mate's brother
Not knowing who Don Bradman was
Sally Robbins lying down during the Olympic rowing final
Losing the Ashes
Not drinking your tea through a Tim Tam
Whingeing