"South African" Premier League

I'm choosing to ignore Australia's dismal performance for now.

Let's talk Indian Premier League.

Insert obligatory comment about the passage of time: it really doesn't seem like a whole year ago we first saw a cricket in such a... dazzling... light.

It was amusing but it didn't take long to lose interest. Sure, Ricky Ponting wore a black and gold costume (uniform doesn't say enough) and Shane Warne proved he's still ace, but it's only Twenty20, and the whole thing went for too long.

It really was a tournament of very little substance.

The best part of it, in my opinion, was seeing the likes of Ponting and Ganguly playing side by side; something county cricket followers would be familiar with, but we haven't got an Australian equivalent.

But a lot of things have changed in the last twelve months.

India has been subjected to a horrific terrorist attack.

The recent attack in Pakistan saw made us realise that our beloved sportsmen are not immune to the instability of the world.

The 2009 IPL will coincide with federal elections in India.

If I was a cricketer I wouldn't want to go. As it is several Australians have pulled out of the competition. Though citing other reasons, security must have been a factor and a big one.

The Indian government have said they cannot provide extra security because of the elections.

"Due to the attitude of the government that it cannot provide security for the tournament, we are forced to take a decision to move the IPL out of India," the country's cricket chief Shashank Manohar told reporters.

I commend the BCCI for this. It would have been easy to turn a blind eye and reap the reward and profit, despite the risk of attack.

South Africa is the likely host for the IPL, with England a second alternative.

I wonder what implications this will have for the league's profits.

An integral part of this tournament is interpellation - Indians identify with the IPL, it's their tournament. Their celebrities own the teams, those celebrities are often filmed in the crowd celebrating or lamenting the performance of their team. The spectacle and the glamour, from the player auction to the season launch to the costumes; it is India.

In turn, atmosphere at Indian cricket matches is something to behold, and I believe assist to sustain the interest in this event. They are an immensely lively bunch and it goes hand in hand with the extravaganza of the IPL. Again, it is their tournament. Will it be mimicked in South Africa? No.

There is a 3.5 hour time difference between the two countries. Granted this is not as big as if it was being held in England, but it will still affect prime time viewing in India (and make no mistake, this tournament is held to be broadcast in India).

Take away these patriotism factors - will the Indians lose interest if tournament seems to become South Africa's? My Indian blogger friends are far more qualified to comment on this than me, but it makes me wonder.

While all these factors are interesting to consider, none of it really matters. What matters is the safety of the cricketers and subsequently the safety of the people around them who may in turn be affected (security guards, by-standers etc).

There can be no doubt the BCCI are doing the right thing here. If that means the IPL dies, which is unlikely even if this season goes badly, so be it.

I also commend South Africa for being ready to mobilise with this.

It's cricket. We're there for each other.

I heart test cricket

Records are being smashed daily over in India, or so I hear.

But I don't watch it. I have actually lost interest.

It is on very late here, but it's more than that. It's just not interesting.

Twenty20 cricket is fun to watch on a summer afternoon down at the WACA (providing of course you have decent seats and aren't near a bogan hell-bent on making you ashamed to be the nationality you are).

Other than that it's not engaging like test cricket. I love test cricket... test cricket don't die!

It was great having some of the real stuff on the other night. It was like going home after a holiday. Sure the holiday was good, you looked forward to it and for the first few days at least it was novel, but there's nothing quite like home.

Not that I know how that match has progressed, but still.

Anyhoo, back in January I ordered an autographed first edition copy of an 'autobiography' of a certain cricketer. Being the scabby wench I am, I requested surface mail shipping, and after 14 weeks I resigned myself that either the ship had docked on the sub-continent and the package had been opened by an Indian fan and I'd never see it, or that it was lost in a dark corner of some cargo ship and I'll see it when I'm 45.

But today it got here!

Yaaaaay!!!

Toss under spotlights

Let's do it!

It's here, the moment is upon us. I stayed up rather late to watch it because we we didn't get a live broadcast (bastards).

Actually to be honest I just wanted to see Punter and D Huss. Once an Aussie always an Aussie. And I was dead thrilled that Punter doubled Ganguly's score.

Kiwis, I hope you're suitably proud of your Brendon. Personally I would like to give him a hug, a warm, special hug. You know the sort. He's pretty damn cool. I think I'll have to claim him.

So far, I've only seen the uniforms of these two teams, but bloody hell, did I pick the team with the gaudiest outfit. It's typical I tell you. They couldn't just have a gold strip on their shirt (and and it's not nice gold, it's that 80s gold adored by one hit wonders from that era), no no, the gaudy gold pads, gloves, elbow guards, helmet... saints preserve us. I suppose the outfits were designed by the same clever person who thought Knight Riders was an appropriate name.

The Indians are the (super) kings of telephone marketing. Surely some sort of survey was conducted about outfits? They must have only rung people in India, cos I certainly didn't get a call, and I can't imagine any Aussie/Kiwi/Pom recommending gaudy gold.

Damn Do Not Call Register. I blame Howard.

I kept cracking up as I imagined Ponting, Hussey and McCullum all seeing their new uniforms for the first time and the looks on their faces.

I'm a bit shitted that the IPL fellas are being so precious about their pics. I feel that here would be an appropriate place for a picture in Ricky Ponting dressed in the cricketing equivalent of drag?

It will teach me for throwing my support behind a team before finding out vital info.

Thanks, India. Supposing I wanted to buy the shirt? Now the question is, should I ditch the team and go with the Deccan Chargers? Well, I'll wait and see what they wear. I think the only way they can outdo the Knight Riders is if they turn up dressed like this trend-setter (don't vomit on your keyboard)...

Yeah. Nah.

Is that dude with the sexy pants/mo/quiff (you know who I mean) the guy that owns the team that was prancing around everytime my Brendon hit a six? Or does he own a different team?

Player interaction gets me. Do they players care about anything other than their own performance? Do they laugh and joke and have light moments, or is it nod in acknowledgment and then let's just get on with it? Especially in light of the recent Indian tour of Australia, I just can't see them all sitting around singing Kumbayah. Or however it's spelt. Did Ricky Ponting laugh to himself when Ganguly was out? I wonder.

Oh yeah, Kolkata won.

More subcontinental bewilderment

Mumbai went to the opposite extreme of Chennai and Bangalore when they named their team the...

Indians. With a name like that, the line "I'm glad you're here to tell us these things" springs to mind. They may as well be called the Mumbai Tautology.

Some of the teams were over-zealous but I can't determine whether this lot were aiming for irony, mockery, helpfulness or unoriginality.

Maybe they were aiming for something else entirely and missed the mark. In this case I would suggest they should be re-named the "Red Indians".

Alternatively, maybe the good folk of Bombay are having an identity crisis. Mumbai. Bombay. Mumbai. Bombay. Mumbai.

Whatever it is, I think Mumbai, like Kolkata, need my help. Five seconds' thinking gave me a better name, and so they shall henceforth be referred to as the Mumbai Dragonflies.
Isn't he a cutie?

Rajasthan Royals... now that's a fine name - although they'd better watch out, Bangalore are challengers, specifically royal challengers. Conspiracy? But at least the name is not insane, nor is it an example of the English rhetoric my Year 11 chemistry teacher thought he was the oracle of.

I wonder if the IPL hype will convert to success.

I'm looking forward to it. Is that so wrong of me?

Hot cross Poms

If the Pommy lads aren't allowed to play in the IPL, they'll be cross and defiant.

Said Sean Morris, the CEO of the Professional Cricketers' Association, in a roundabout sort of way. "Restricting employees anywhere will cause friction in a relationship - over a period of time that will break it down."

I think he has a very valid point here. If it came to it, can England afford to be sacking its top players if they're defying orders, ala New Zealand and the ICL? I think not.

He also said that a solution must be found or money will talk, and on that point, I had an interesting conversation with a ten-dollar note about where to find cyanide solution the other day, actually. Once again, Miss Field leads the way.

Lalit Modi, the IPL chairman, apparently knows that top England players want to play in the IPL ("I know a lot of them are interested...") and he is willing to move the season a bit to accommodate. What a star.

On the contrary though, the ECB's chairman Giles Clarke said the England lads are all happy little vegemites, that he is not under pressure from any of them to be allowed to play in the IPL ("I don't think the rewards being talked about are ones England players would be interested in.") because they're all satisfied with dedicating their lives to a lost cause. That way at least they can die as martyrs.

Now. Someone's telling fibs here, and I have a theory that it's Mr Clarke. When all the cricketing countries are joining in but yet his players, without exception, are happy not to, something isn't quite right.

I wonder who will stand by their apparent convictions and who will be bought. We all have a price...

The rhetoric of Justin Langer

I like Justin Langer, and if I ever have a son he shall be named Justin, and I will tell him he was named after JL (even if that wasn't really the case and I just liked the name).

Señor Langer, who has declined an offer of $236,850 (not enough for a house. Maybe a really big shed) to play for Jaipur and instead honour his commitment to Somerset, has said some interesting things.

"Before the auction, I don't know if many people anticipated what an issue these massive player payments would become. But when you see how much money is being paid out, I think we have to be very careful to protect the integrity of the game.

"A few days ago, playing for Australia would have been the main goal for just about every young player in the country. Now that might not be the case.

"When you go to your grave, people will remember what you did with your life rather than how much money you made."

I think he's dead right.