It's Miss Field, bitch

Ok ok so my comeback was worse that Britney's MTV effort, apparently. But in case you wondered -- I fell. Through fire. And water. From the lowest dungeon to the highest peak. Until at last, I threw down my enemy and some his ruin upon the mountainside. Darkness took me, and I strayed out of thought and time. Stars wheeled overhead, and every day was as long as the life age of the earth. But it was not the end, I felt light in me again.

I've been sent back until my task is done.

And if you've emailed me or requested anything in the last few weeks, I know there have been a couple, link swaps and all, please re-request. I didn't mean to forget but I did.

September was a shit month for cricket. But who'd have thought it would take an email from New Zealand Cricket to get me motivated. Especially one that looks like this.

I mean please, who's going to take that seriously? Nonetheless, BLACKCAPS.com is back too. Contain that excitement, at once! I bet Dan Vettori was thrilled that they used that photo. In fact, with such exciting CAPITALISATION, you'd think they'd have an EXCLAMATION MARK. Oh, wait...

In an in-depth analysis of this new look with a friend from across the ditch, it was suggested that maybe New Zealand Cricket are trying to make him seem a little bit, well, tougher.

I'm not convinced. I think he looks more like he won $200 on Deal or No Deal than got Ricky Ponting out for a golden duck.

ANYWAY, cricket.

Australia in India. Look. We're gonna lose.

But the thing is, the most important thing of all, is not until next year. We can lose all the matches between now and then - though I'd prefer we didn't - and if it meant we retain the Ashes five-nil, it would be well worth it.

However, my goodness India shit me off. There's Ganguly ranting about how they'll clean sweep the series for sure (prove me wrong boys, I beseech thee).

There's some other prick accusing us of cheating. Sehwag. How dare he. What's that expression about stones and glass houses... or kettles and black pots. Eh? EH? Like we lower our standards to your standards.

Then there's Kumble pressing his hands over his ears and pretending he can't hear, instead of leading from the front and saying "OY VIRENDER, AT LEAST WAIT UNTIL THE MATCH HAS STARTED." Or maybe he's just a little embarassed to hear his own comments echoed months down the track, mmm?

Did I mention I'm going to India in November?

And they "dropped" Andrew Symonds, yeah very likely. I think "attitude problem" might be code for "protect him from deranged Indians", which I'm all for. Anyway it's worked out quite well really, he's had a fishing lure named after him. Seriously, what more could he want from life?

Finally, let's hope someone has had the foresight to tape Harbhajan Singh's mouth shut.

It's not the Ashes. But damn it would be good to kick butt.


Oh. And if you're an Irish engineer who's a 'follower' of this page, can I have your number?

Toss under spotlights

Let's do it!

It's here, the moment is upon us. I stayed up rather late to watch it because we we didn't get a live broadcast (bastards).

Actually to be honest I just wanted to see Punter and D Huss. Once an Aussie always an Aussie. And I was dead thrilled that Punter doubled Ganguly's score.

Kiwis, I hope you're suitably proud of your Brendon. Personally I would like to give him a hug, a warm, special hug. You know the sort. He's pretty damn cool. I think I'll have to claim him.

So far, I've only seen the uniforms of these two teams, but bloody hell, did I pick the team with the gaudiest outfit. It's typical I tell you. They couldn't just have a gold strip on their shirt (and and it's not nice gold, it's that 80s gold adored by one hit wonders from that era), no no, the gaudy gold pads, gloves, elbow guards, helmet... saints preserve us. I suppose the outfits were designed by the same clever person who thought Knight Riders was an appropriate name.

The Indians are the (super) kings of telephone marketing. Surely some sort of survey was conducted about outfits? They must have only rung people in India, cos I certainly didn't get a call, and I can't imagine any Aussie/Kiwi/Pom recommending gaudy gold.

Damn Do Not Call Register. I blame Howard.

I kept cracking up as I imagined Ponting, Hussey and McCullum all seeing their new uniforms for the first time and the looks on their faces.

I'm a bit shitted that the IPL fellas are being so precious about their pics. I feel that here would be an appropriate place for a picture in Ricky Ponting dressed in the cricketing equivalent of drag?

It will teach me for throwing my support behind a team before finding out vital info.

Thanks, India. Supposing I wanted to buy the shirt? Now the question is, should I ditch the team and go with the Deccan Chargers? Well, I'll wait and see what they wear. I think the only way they can outdo the Knight Riders is if they turn up dressed like this trend-setter (don't vomit on your keyboard)...

Yeah. Nah.

Is that dude with the sexy pants/mo/quiff (you know who I mean) the guy that owns the team that was prancing around everytime my Brendon hit a six? Or does he own a different team?

Player interaction gets me. Do they players care about anything other than their own performance? Do they laugh and joke and have light moments, or is it nod in acknowledgment and then let's just get on with it? Especially in light of the recent Indian tour of Australia, I just can't see them all sitting around singing Kumbayah. Or however it's spelt. Did Ricky Ponting laugh to himself when Ganguly was out? I wonder.

Oh yeah, Kolkata won.