Well I'm glad they're good at signing miniature bats

Nothing good on TV?

No. I didn't think so.

Here's an ad to watch.

Maybe if certain people in this ad had spent more time practicing their job instead of poncing around in this ad... no no.

Blame Rudi.

"Forget the Oz Open, get the VB open"

As we all know the Australians are playing in the West Indies at the moment.

It's nice to see the traditional gear as opposed to the gaud of the IPL and the glare of England's new outfits.

But seeing VB advertised on their shirts is disappointing.

Don't get me wrong, I like VB and as far as alcohol goes I drink just about anything.

However a big fuss has been made of late about binge drinking in this country - apparently it's 'out of control'.

As a result, the government has stuck a significant tax on lolly water drinks, Cruisers, Breezers, Ruskis, you know the ones.

But surely curbing the advertising, promotion and sponsorships for and of alcohol would be a more logical first step.

Is it cool to drink? Yes, but once upon a time it was cool to smoke. Not so anymore (at least in this country).

And whether or not we like it, I think that eventually the same bans will be implemented on alcohol advertising. I know, I love the Bundy Rum and Wolf Blass ads too.

So if we remove the advertising maybe it would have some impact, rather than just taxing the crap out of it.

Even if binge drinking wasn't spiralling upwards, I think this sort of promotion only encourages that sort of behaviour, which only contributes to such long term problems anyway.

After all, cigarette companies aren't allowed to sponsor or advertise, and for damn good reasons too. But ultimately those reasons and these reasons are the same.

As I said before, I like VB. And I lurve my talking Boony (itself a controversial promotion). But it's just not a good look.

The VB Dance - Brett was the V but Morton didn't want to play.

Who wants to go a knight rider?

My IPL team, the Kolkata Rebel Alliance, has been officially named, and I was quite disappointed that none of my most excellent and, dare I say it, super suggestions were taken on board. The Kolkata Knight Riders. This name, even though it doesn't sound as lame as the Super Kings, is actually quite embarrassing.

Someone was undoubtedly paid millions to come up with this name and all they did was choose something that'll be interpreted in a smutty context. Another example of why I should be in charge of these matters. I would have been quick to jump on this knight rider and ensure sense was seen! Hark!

Knights would be a cool name, not too common, not too weird, just right really. Night riders would even be a pretty decent, different sort of name. It sounds like something from the gaming world, something maybe a little bit elusive and enviable.

But no, the Kolkatese have gone for a different context entirely. Knight riders.
"Ricky Ponting is a knight rider."
"Oh really, which one?"
"Sir Guy of Gisborne I heard."

Actually I just need a moment to pause and reflect on that thought... mmm.

Anyway. I wonder if they have do a preference. Sir Richard Branson? Sir Elton John? Sir Paul McCartney (better watch out for gold-digging tarts in that case)? Sir Peter Jackson? Sir Charles Gairdner? Sir Ian McKellan? Sir Hiss? What would their logo look like? And they couldn't have a mascot, it would be far too offensive.

Those crazy Indians. They will still be the Rebel Alliance to me.

India and South Africa will be competing soon. A while ago I made a list of who the worst teams to lose to, and while I stand by my comment that it's worse to lose to South Africa than India (only just, though), I hope South Africa kick India's arse all the way to Peru. Why Peru? Why not.

Also, there's a quote on cricinfo that Shane Warne apparently said in reference to his immortalisation in plastic, and the dialogue he recorded for it... "I wanted it to say 'Chuck us a VB, Murali'." I haven't got VB Warney but I've got Boony and Beefy (why did I just type Beeny? Or was it Boofy?) and occasionally they do say rather funny things. That comment of Warney's that would have been funny.

Finally, visit here and then go here and join. Soon there will be a Facebook group dedicated to counting down the days until we see young Suave in the t-shirt he was born to wear.